Dr. Seussilitis - An Epidemic.

A must read.

Last night on The Daily Show, in Stewart's interview,

Calvin Trillin was the guest - I'd never had a clue.

'though I lack the skill he has, I'm very much relieved;

Now I know I'm not alone, as I had once believed.

I'd feared it was only me with Dr. Seussilitis

(Symptoms bear resemblance to a sort of brain colitis.

Mind will cramp and suddenly you're spewing out a rhyme.)

Recently discovered that it happens all the time.

Other people caught this bug and have it even worse.

Dogfight...2012... is filled with funny, clever verse.

Limericks by experts like Mad Kane and Dr. Goose -

They are like a Hershey's Kiss and Trillin's chocolate mousse.

I just used my Kindle.  Pressed a button; bought the book.

Now I have to go and have myself another look.

Good news is that - even though I know I read too fast -

Trillin's written lots of books.  May this not be his last.

The 112th Congress - Because They've Got Nothing Better To Do

US Ambassador to the United Nations - Susan Rice.  (Photo/The Telegraph)

What, exactly, is it that Republicans oppose?

Nomination that Obama has yet to propose?

Susan Rice read talking points.  It turns out they were wrong.

Now the rumors of conspiracy are going strong.

FOX News is all over it; they say Rice told a lie.

Went and spun the facts so they'd look better for her guy.

Claim she knew al Qaeda was behind the whole attack;

That her motivation was to have Obama's back.

Never mind the fact the CIA said it was them,

And forget the other Rice (the one who's not a Dem.)

This Rice had no luck at all when she went to The Hill,

Now the voice of opposition's started growing shrill.

John McCain and Lindsey Graham are sure it's all a trick;

And it looks like others may have joined their little clique.

I guess, with elections over, there's air-time to fill.

Crazy controversies give the FOX and Friends a thrill.

The 112th Congress - Here We Go Again

Cartoon by Chip Bok of BokBlusters.com

I was feeling optimistic once, but now I'm not.

Starting to believe that compromise won't stand a shot.

Not before the New Year comes and we go off the cliff.

Congress doesn't seem to care about the working stiff.

Even though the cliff is just a slope (or so we're told)

All this petty posturing is getting pretty old.

Maybe they're maneuvering to get a better deal.

Seems like their divisions are impossible to heal.

Black Friday - Not Even On A Dare

Christmas shoppers flock to malls and find no parking there.

Stores could give the stuff away for free; I wouldn't care.

I have never liked to shop...  It drives my mother nuts.

She is one of those who's there until the last store shuts.

Now I won't get near the place; the traffic is insane,

Crowds and lines and dealing with the subsequent back pain.

Christmas was  the time I'd let her drag me to the mall;

Thanks to my computer I don't have to go at all.

I expect to do most of my shopping while on-line.

Ordered gifts through Amazon last year and it was fine.

Only one was not on time - it came from overseas -

And I ordered very late.  There were no guarantees.

Cannot say what I will buy. My children will (sometimes)

Check and see what nonsense I've been saying in my rhymes.

Half the fun of Christmas gifts is that they're a surprise.

You get to experience the joy in someone's eyes.

I'll be home with eggnog and enjoy this Christmas season.

Thanks to Amazon and UPS there is no reason

That I'll have to face the hordes out hunting for a sale.

Sorry Mom but, I'm afraid, this  year I'm gonna bail.

Across the Pond - Pharaoh Morsi

Figured that Thanksgiving was ideal to take a break.

Thought it would be quiet; that was clearly a mistake.

Egypt has a Pharaoh now; the Muslim Brotherhood

Placed itself beyond the law and that, my friends, ain't good.

Morsi says his actions won't be subject to review...

Neither judges nor the law can tell him what to do.

Says it's only temporary; his intentions pure.

Demonstrators back in Tahrir Square don't seem as sure.

Morsi was elected as the President because

The reformers couldn't choose which candidate theirs was.

Liberal choices split the vote; Conservatives stepped in.

Feels as if the Arab Spring released an evil djinn.

Middle East is frightening with Syria, Iran,

(Not to mention our poor troops still in Afghanistan)

Israel and Palestine and Turkey's bomb request...

Almost every one of them wants something from the West.

Happy Thanksgiving (A Little Bit Early)

Norman Rockwell's iconic Thanksgiving.  Notice how he doesn't show you what this poor woman's kitchen looks like...  Or mention the fact that she's only 42?

Here I sit - the place a mess - Thanksgiving on the way
(In the winter we're the hosts for every holiday).
Have to get up off my bum and go and clean the house;
Don't want to embarrass either children or my spouse.

Thankfully our guests are all extended family...
They're aware of what they'll get when they come visit me.
There'll be lots of food and drink and, if you've room, there's pie.
There'll be food to take with you when you must say goodbye.

There'll be people who you love and they all love you back
If you can ignore the fact the china's got a crack,
Carpet is a little worn, and Bailey always sheds,
And (with Dr. Seussilitis) I use wine for meds.

Since there is so much to do and there's so little time
I will not be back before Thanksgiving for a rhyme.
Thanks to those who, in my youth, invited in a stray.
Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday.

The New England Patriots - Curse the Luck

Another victim of the Sports Illustrated curse?

Patriots just crushed the Colts and yet the fans are sad;

There was lots of luck around, but much of ours was bad.

'though Defense looked good at last, 1st quarter was a mess.

Colts, thank gods, could  not prevent Tom getting it to Wes.

Due to sports announcer's curse, Gostkowski missed a kick.

I thought the addition of Talib made Defense click.

Luck, their rookie quarterback, who went from bad to worse,

Must have activated the Sports Illustrated curse.

Game had only minutes left; I thought us safe from harm

And then Rob Gronkowski had to go and break his arm.

He'll be out at least  a month - a rotten piece of luck -

And we have to play the Jets on Thursday, which will suck.

New York hates New England and, in truth, we hate the Jets;

Rivalry as nasty as the Sox and Yankees' gets.

Now we'll have to play them with a host of injuries...

I'd be very thankful for a win, dear sports gods...  Please?

Across the Pond - Israel: A Conversation With My Son

Graphic credit/homran.wordpress.com

Yesterday my youngest son and I were in the car

And (as is per usual) were tuned to NPR.

With the news about Hamas and Gaza on the air

He asked me if I'd explain the problem over there.

Sure, my love...  No worries - and we'll do string theory next.

Once upon a time there were these three, religious sects...

And, depending how far back in history you go,

They all have a claim to land.  Who's right? I do not know.

And, it's hard to say exactly who owned what stuff last.

Many folks want vengeance there, for wrongs done in the past. 

Israel believes they face an existential threat...

That, my son, means it's as big as these things ever get.

Problem is that threat applies, as well, to Palestine.

Both sides shooting missiles; each has crossed the other's line.

Israel's surrounded by a troubled neighborhood.

I'm afraid there may be war and that, my love's, not good.

They must find a path to peace - there has to be a fix.

Find it fast before Egypt and Jordan join the mix.

Don't ask me what they should do.  I haven't got a clue.

Should have gone with quantum physics darlin'.  I warned you.

The Benghazi Conspiracy? (cont.)

Lindsey Graham, Kelly Ayotte, and John McCain.  (Photo/Getty Images)

John McCain and Lindsey Graham - opposed to Susan Rice -

Went before the media to offer their advice.

Said they'd block Obama if he chooses her for State...

Personnel advice from Sarah Palin's running mate?

Both men say that, after our Ambassador was slain,

Susan Rice was wrong and thus, according to McCain,

There is a conspiracy that rivals Watergate.

They want Rice investigated... Not the head at State.

I was once a fan of John McCain's.  Not anymore.

Chose him in 2000; would have in 2004.

Not the man he was back then; now all he does is grouse.

Maybe he'd like Rice if she saw Russia from her house.

The 112th Congress - Fiscal Slope?

Cartoon by Jim Morin/The Miami Herald

Have you heard the latest?  Fiscal cliff?  It's now a slope.

Isn't an emergency.  No worries.  We can cope.

'though I am an optimist, I think I'm losing hope.

I'm afraid that Congress plans to vote themselves more rope.

I'm not seeing signs that it's a compromise they seek.

Are Republicans too old to hear the People speak?

President Obama's holding meetings all this week,

Looking for solutions and a paddle for the creek.

Aren't there any Congressmen or women - just a few -

Who are just as sick and tired now as me and you

Of the party politics (and Mitch McConnell's view)?

Must be some  agreement on what government should do.

First let's pass extensions for the middle-class, tax cut;

Then address the code itself. Find loopholes you can shut.

Even Grover Norquist can't mind that and he's a nut.

Steer us towards the middle...  Left and  Right are in a rut.

(P.S. Dr. Seussilitis symptoms getting out of hand

If you think I'm crazy, I completely understand.)

Dear Paula Broadwell, et al. - Really?

Not cool Paula.  Not cool.

Women who lead married men into adultery

(Guys can be so stupid.  They'll succumb to flattery)

Knowing there's a wife at home but flirting anyway...

Why do they not stop and think of her before they stray?

Even smart, accomplished men fall victim to the ploy.

I think they can't help it. Deep inside they're still a boy

Ruled by the equipment dangling between their legs.

They revert to glory days - fraternities and kegs.

It's the "other woman" who I'll never understand.

Shouldn't she be smart enough to know a wedding band

Means the man is taken and, therefore, it's wrong to flirt?

In this type of situation, everyone  gets hurt.

The New England Patriots - An Ugly Win is Still a Win

Some teams reserve a seat for Elvis.  This Veteran's Day, New England permanently reserved one for our true patriots. (Photo/David Silverman)

Even though the Patriots hung on to beat the Bills

I'm afraid my heart can't take these kind of late game thrills.

If you didn't care who won I'm sure the game was great.

When you like New England though, these are the kind you hate.

Our Defense is 29th - that's out of 32.

Bills are not the first team to come back; there've been a few.

Thank gods for McCourty and Fitzpatrick's awful throw...

Up until the end he put on an impressive show.

Brady's looking sharp again; he's also looking mad.

Screaming at poor Edelman when he did something bad.

Maybe he should take his temper out on Safeties first.

Don't know why they cannot stop deep passes.  Are they cursed?

What is it the sports gods want? They've got my sweat and tears.

I guess we appeased them with the volume of our cheers;

Bills did not come back to win despite how hard they tried...

Late game interception proved the gods were on our side.

We'd All Go Down Together

"Gentlemen, we must hang together or surely we shall hang separately." Benjamin Franklin

Dow is plunging like a stone.  NASDAQ's falling too.

Wall St. isn't thrilled the Ship of State's not changing crew.

All the folks who couldn't work together will return...

Industries are worried, so they're crowding at the stern.

Maybe I'm an optimist, but I think this can work

(Even though McConnell's still behaving like a jerk.)

With the many storms we face there has to be a deal,

Just as soon as everyone stops fighting for the wheel.

Yes, we're in for painful cuts and turmoil overseas

But, in times of crisis - times an awful lot like these -

As we face a fiscal cliff, with no room left to stall,

I believe true patriots will heed their nation's call.

Although the stern went down last, it still went down."Untergang der Titanic" by Willy Stöwer, 1912 (artist's conception)

Halo 4-itis?

Halo 4

Youngest son is home from school; he says he isn't well...

Doesn't have a fever but his glands began to swell;

Nose is stuffed, he has a cough, and claims his throat is sore...

I suspect the boy has got a case of Halo 4.

Oldest went and bought the game the morning it came out.

Both have tried explaining to me what it's all about.

Seems there's some poor Master Chief - who's always in a fight -

Woken from a frozen sleep 'cause something wasn't right.

I must say, the graphics in the game are pretty wild.

Not exactly Sonic games... He loved those as a child.

Both my sons are blown away and, now - the youngest, sick?

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I think it's a trick.

Dear President Obama; Sincere Condolences on Your Victory

Listened to Obama's speech before I went to bed.

One more time unto the breach, as William Shakespeare said.

4 more years to get it right and fix whatever's wrong...

4 more years to try and drag Republicans along.

Watched returns on PBS and, now and then, on FOX -

Just to see what message they'd take from the ballot box.

Country's still divided and, 'though Democrats have won,

I'm afraid the next 4 years aren't gonna be much fun.

FOX believes that Romney lost the race because he's rich,

And that he was moderate before he made the switch...

Wasn't quite conservative enough to fit the bill.

4 more years of crap like that is gonna make me ill.

I can only hope for change in Congress - that they'll see

Time to work together...  Country needs the GOP.

Loyal opposition as we hurtle towards the cliff;

Not like folks on FOX and Friends.  Those people scare me stiff.

Race for the White House - Please Vote

I just came from voting (and it didn't hurt a bit)

Where, if you are wondering, I didn't vote for Mitt.

Hope you'll vote Obama, too and keep him on the job.

Fill a little circle in and then your uncle's Bob.

Voters in New Jersey and New York have got it rough...

Right now they're more worried about where to live and stuff.

Polling places washed away in Sandy's aftermath.

Residents would rather find a place to get a bath.

Sometimes people wait to vote for hours in the sun;

Sons and daughters guarding freedoms their fore-fathers won.

It's a sacred obligation...  Please go out and vote.

And, if you're in Massachusetts, don't forget your coat.

Race for the White House - Election Eve

Cartoon credit/Chattanooga Times Free Press

Here it is - Election Eve. The race is nearly done.

Only thing that's left to do is vote, then see who won.

I support Obama.  If you've ever read my rhymes

You'll know I think Romney's changed his mind too many times.

I know he's a decent man, but I think Mitt is wrong.

Trust me...  I've been paying close attention all along.

Want to know the reason the economy's been slow?

It's because Republicans are always saying "No."

Industries will not invest if they cannot be sure

Government can compromise; not stay Tea Party pure.

(Simply look across the pond; austerity won't work.)

Bottom line; the problem? Mitch McConnell's been a jerk.

Hope that, if Obama wins, they'll take it as a sign -

With a looming fiscal cliff, some compromise is fine.

Time to see a course more middle-of-the-road gets steered.

Need to rein the right wing in...  They're getting kinda weird.

Across the Pond - Egypt: Be A Woman

Punks on the streets of Cairo...  This kid's mom must be so proud.  Photo credit/AP

If you visit Egypt - and you're female - be prepared;

Women walking through the streets have reason to be scared.

In a region that prefers to keep its women veiled,

Efforts to protect their wives and daughters there have failed.

Total strangers seem to feel they have the right to touch;

Pinch an ass or find a passing breast that they can clutch.

Cannot blame the Arab Spring, Mubarak's overthrow;

Not the Muslim Brotherhood that made the problem grow.

Feminists in Cairo now are few and far between

(Bet they didn't stand for this when Cleo was the Queen)

Now they have an issue with which many men agree

Even if it isn't, yet, complete equality.

There are roving gangs of boys out doing what they can,

Beating up offenders which they're calling "Be A Man."

I think that's the problem; now's the time to be a girl...

Make a change and give respect for other folks a whirl.

Race for the White House - Dear Abby

Me too, Abby...  Me too.

Do not cry dear Abby.  The election's almost through;

Though, I promise, everyone is feeling just like you.

Like your Mom, whenever I am driving in my car,

I am also listening to local NPR...

Abby dear, please trust me; you think radio is bad?

Stay away from FOX and Friends and warn your Mom and Dad.

Until this election's through, while lying in your bed,

Dream of pleasant things, my dear, and rest your tired head.

Pretty soon, with any luck, the President will win;

You won't have to look at Romney's constipated grin
But, should Mr. Romney win, I cannot tell a lie -

Abby, you are not the only one who's gonna cry.