Monday, June 18, 2018

Ruining a Perfectly Nice Walk

Image result for golf meme funny

I've been on the golf course twice this year...  It wasn't good.
I am old and out of practice. Shanked my 7 wood.
Couldn't hit my driver straight - the ball kept going right,
Sailing off into the trees or rough and out of sight.

"Why would you keep playing golf?" I hear you asking me.
And, I must confess that it's a total mystery
Why someone would play a game so draining on the soul...
Unless you have felt the joy of birdying a hole.

Once you've sunk a tricky putt or hit a pretty shot,
Playing "in the zone" - it is not easily forgot.
Which is how the golf gods suck you in but, once you are,
They will make you pay in sweat and tears for every par.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Even Tom Clancy Couldn't Make This Sh!t Up

 Image result for trump memes g7

Donald Trump's a thin-skinned bully who can dish it out
But can't take it; no clue what diplomacy's about.
He's attacking NATO and G7 (make that 6)
Allied nations - while excusing Russia's dirty tricks.

Trump's a raging bull inside a global China shop.
Now we're only waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He's flown off to meet with North Korea's Kim Jong-un...
Gee! What could go wrong with that?  I guess we'll find out soon.

Welcome to the new world order, a la Donald Trump;
One where the United States drops trou' and takes a dump
On the countries which have had our back for all these years.
Trump's A Clear and Present Danger - Sum of my worst fears.

Wednesday, June 06, 2018

Look Out World

 Image result for oktoberfest meme funny

I now hold my brand new passport in my sweaty grip...
Empty pages beg for stamps; it's time to take a trip.
If he had his druthers, Mr. S. would rather stay
Here at home. He doesn't like to go too far away.

Luckily, my younger siblings have the travel bug...
When I start to feel the pull of distant places tug
One of them is sure to also want to come along;
Nice to be with those you love if anything goes wrong.

So, the only question left is where we ought'a go.
Brother wants Oktoberfest in Gemany, although
I've heard that it's crowded; filled with drunken college kids.
I think that I'd rather go and see the pyramids...

Or go on safari or to Italy or Spain -
See if rain is really falling mainly on the plain.
Maybe I can talk my younger brother into Rome.
We can find drunk college students staying here at home.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Goodbye Adam

 (The McCarthy Middle School talent contest version, Adam in a kilt, was better.)

I spent this year's Mother's Day at Adam Gregoire's wake.
It felt like a nightmare and I thought my heart would break
At the pictures of the boy who used to hang around...
Ate and slept here.  Yet, today, they'll lay him in the ground.

He was such a lovely boy; so funny but so sweet.
Taught our son to play guitar and how to keep a beat.
I can still remember them - in triumph on the stage.
Such a talent gone from us at far too young an age.

Both my sons attended with me and they made me proud
As we stood in line and waited with the massive crowd
Come to say goodbye and offer useless sympathy
And, like all but Adam's mom, thanked God she wasn't me.

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Journeying to The Tower

 Image result for the dark tower

I am on a journey to The Tower; it's my third...
Which, you'd think, would mean I'd stop and savor every word;
Slow it down. No need to rush - I know how this all ends.
But, that's not the way that I'm re-reading them, my friends.

Once again, these tales of Roland's quest swept me away.
Right now I'm in Mejis but I'll finish there today.
I expect to reach the Calla later on tonight.
I can't seem to pace myself; I've given up the fight.

I'm all in. Absorbed (again) by Sai King's masterpiece.
Not until the journey's end will my obsession cease.
Therefore, you may not hear from me for a week or so.
Hope that you and yours stay well, but now I gotta go.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Play-off Beards

Image result for Bruins playoffs beards

Last night, Boston's Bruins beat Toronto's Maple Leafs.
Mr. S., who often mocks my own sports gods beliefs,
Has got his own superstition which is pretty weird;
He, like many hockey fans, has grown a play-offs beard.

I think it looks kinda sexy but could use a trim.
"You can't touch a play-offs beard," he scoffed when I asked him.
Which is rather problematic, since our eldest son
Starts his new job Monday and he's also growing one.

Will his new employers understand or will they think;
"This guy looks like he could not be bothered?" That would stink.
Boston's first game against Tampa's not 'til Saturday...
My guys may not shave 'til June if we go all the way!

Mr. S., who is the boss, can get away with that
But our son might find himself in H.R. for a chat.
If he's lucky, his new boss will be a Bruins' fan -
One who's understanding of the play-offs shaving ban.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Pretty Lies

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I just bought new clothes... They're in a size I haven't worn
Since the days of long ago; before our sons were born.
It's the size I wore before I dated Mr. S.
Clothing sizes changed a lot in 30 years, I guess.

Please don't get me wrong!  I must admit, it was a thrill
When the zipper on the khakis zipped... But, even still!
This is not the body that I had when this size fit
Even if you factor in the saggy, aging bit.

Clothing manufacturers tell us a fairy tale
Easily disproven by the household's bathroom scale.
30 years ago, this size would not get past these hips.
('though that fact may not prevent some future shopping trips.)

Which, of course, is why they do it - tell us pretty lies.
It's more fun to purchase clothing in a smaller size.
But, I'll bet you anything, if I had vintage pants
In this size, the zipper on them wouldn't stand a chance.