Have Yourselves a Merry Christmas

"It's comin' on Christmas; they're cuttin' down trees..."

It's next week and, am I ready for it? Honey, please.

Haven't started decorating, haven't written cards,

Haven't strung a Christmas light (unlike our neighbors's yards.)

I just bought the tree and wreath; they're both completely bare.

Haven't started shopping 'cause it's frightening out there.

I'm supposed to pick our eldest up from Plymouth State;

There's a jack-knifed tractor-trailer on the highway... Great.

You won't see much rhyming from me in the coming days,

(And I bet that you are just as busy anyways)

So, if we don't get the chance again, I'm wishing you

Very Merry Holidays and Happy New Year, too.

Black Friday - Not Even On A Dare

Christmas shoppers flock to malls and find no parking there.

Stores could give the stuff away for free; I wouldn't care.

I have never liked to shop...  It drives my mother nuts.

She is one of those who's there until the last store shuts.

Now I won't get near the place; the traffic is insane,

Crowds and lines and dealing with the subsequent back pain.

Christmas was  the time I'd let her drag me to the mall;

Thanks to my computer I don't have to go at all.

I expect to do most of my shopping while on-line.

Ordered gifts through Amazon last year and it was fine.

Only one was not on time - it came from overseas -

And I ordered very late.  There were no guarantees.

Cannot say what I will buy. My children will (sometimes)

Check and see what nonsense I've been saying in my rhymes.

Half the fun of Christmas gifts is that they're a surprise.

You get to experience the joy in someone's eyes.

I'll be home with eggnog and enjoy this Christmas season.

Thanks to Amazon and UPS there is no reason

That I'll have to face the hordes out hunting for a sale.

Sorry Mom but, I'm afraid, this  year I'm gonna bail.