Friday, May 29, 2015

FIFA Elections

Image result for soccer corruption memes

I thought things were bad under Commissioner Goodell
(Not too happy with the way he leads the NFL)
But, another football league has got it even worse
Forcing some perspective on these grievances I nurse.

With Goodell it's just New England that is getting screwed.
FIFA leaders, with the massive fortunes they've accrued
Through manipulation, bribes, and voting purchase schemes
For the last 2 decades, screwed a myriad of teams.

Now the leader under whom corruption seemed to thrive
Faces re-election; it's predicted he'll survive.
(Makes you wonder what it is Sepp Blatter has to pay
To remain in power...)  Give me Roger any day.


Blatter has been re-elected FIFA President;
Thus, a chance to vote against corruption came and went.
Africa and Asia felt that Sepp's their kinda guy...
(Pity future players at the World Cup in Dubai.)

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Big Brother Is A Piker

Image result for no privacy on the web
(Courtesy of/

N.S.A. insists the mega data they collect
Keeps the country safe, with built-in safeguards they respect.
Claim that it's a necessary evil which protects
All of us by only tracking terrorist suspects.

'though it's creepy knowing that Big Brother's watching you
We tend to ignore the fact that others do it, too.
N.S.A. gets numbers and the minutes people use;
Google's now predicting the next purchase that you'll choose.

Government believes the criticism isn't fair;
Say the innocent won't even notice that they're there.
I think they're surprised to find that anybody cares...
At least N.S.A., unlike your Facebook, never shares.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Kitchen Renovation Update

Kitchen renovation isn't moving very fast.
Since the time we started planning (4 months in the past)
Forward progress in the process has slowed to a crawl...
Now the flooring guy we're using won't return my call.

I still need wood samples from him so we can decide
What we want installed but I can't get them (though I've tried.)
I did get some back-splash, sample tiles I found on-line.
Good thing that I did; computer screens (at least on mine)

Make it hard to judge a shade of color that will match.
Always get a sample before buying a whole batch.
Have to make a plan to go and look at slabs of quartz;
"Highly recommended" by the Consumer Reports.

Cabinets are ordered; don't know when they're coming in.
Builder hasn't given me a date when he'll begin.
I am on my mark and set...  But still no starting gun.
It could be the end of summer by the time we're done.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Memorial Day Rhyme, with Apologies to John McCrae

Never been In Flanders Fields, where countless poppies grow,
'though I have seen Arlington's white crosses - row on row.
Walked the grounds where those who've fallen make their final bed;
Mourned each time we add another to our honored dead.

Don't forget the sacrifices that so many made
After some fresh wreath to Unknown Soldiers has been laid.
That is what this weekend's for so, when you see a flag,
Think of what it represents. (I know...  I'm such a nag.)

It's not just the start of summer - golf and barbeques -
Nor the day on which you can begin to wear white shoes.
It is row on row of markers - each one with a name -
Silent sentinels at rest beneath eternal flame.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Dear David Letterman... Good Luck and Goodbye

Watch David Letterman Plead For Mitt Romney To Come On His Show, Diss ...
(Photo/Courtesy of

Farewell David Letterman. I'm sad to see you go
(Even though you've phoned it in the last 3 years or so.)
You shaped our pop-culture with your Nightly Top 10 List;
Gave us 30 years of laughter. You, sir, will be missed.

You were hip and cool when late night comedy was not.
Started watching you when Jay stole your Tonight Show spot;
You were always funnier and edgier than he.
In our house you won the battle for late night T.V.

I wish you the best of luck in what comes next for you.
May good fortune favor you in anything you do.
May the roads you travel lead to someplace where there's pie.
Thank you Mr. Letterman, for years of laughs. Goodbye

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dear Robert Kraft... That Wasn't Helpful

(Photo/Courtesy of AP via The Boston Herald)

In New England fans are feeling like we got the shaft,
One just driven further in by owner, Robert Kraft.
After meeting fellow owners, he dropped his appeal
But, unless the speculation that he cut a deal -

Took the hit to save Tom Brady - turns out to be true,
Fans are angry...  Feeling it was wrong for him to do.
Since the Wells Report concluded he'd done nothing wrong
And the evidence against Tom Brady isn't strong

 It's seen as admitting that the Patriots are cheats;
That will be our reputation when the team competes.
Non-New England fans have always thought that anyway;
Claiming that we need unfair advantages to play.

Kraft asks fans to trust his judgement in this latest move...
Maybe it's a plan to give the team something to prove?
Most fans think he should have chose to fight the N.F.L.
His capitulation isn't going over well.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Smart Policing Doesn't Require Tanks

The Psychotic Militarization of Law Enforcement
(The evolution of policing?)

President has stopped the flow of tanks to the police;
They don't need such heavy calibers to keep the peace.
Don't need armored vehicles for stupid, college pranks.
Cops are not the military...  Why would they want tanks?

Situations escalate when citizens perceive 
Local cops as faceless troops with weapons they receive
From a force that used them to attack the Taliban,
Or pursue al Qaeda ('though that didn't go to plan.)

There's a lot of surplus gear we used to hunt them down
That police will get to keep for use in your home town...
It may not be tanks with treads but there is plenty still.
I don't feel protected, though...  To me, it's overkill.

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Photo That Sealed Tsarnaev's Fate

(Photo/Courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Justice)

There's a picture that's been circulating for a while
Of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev from the Boston Bombing trial.
First time that I saw it, looked my husband in the eye,
Said, that photo guarantees they'll sentence him to die.

In the picture Dzhokhar's lurking there behind a tree
Looking straight at Martin Richards' happy family.
That is when Tsarnaev, standing silent and alone,
Chose to target children - acting, solely, on his own.

I was spared the gory details jurors had to see
But, I bet that if you asked the courtroom, they'd agree;
That's the piece of evidence that sealed Tsarnaev's fate.
Killing children isn't something we will tolerate.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Unsolicited Kitchen Renovation Advice

Image result for blue cityscape tile

When you start remodeling your kitchen, keep in mind
If your home is "open concept" you will quickly find
Can't buy hardwood for one room...  You have to do them all.
Then you need new tile for the guest bathroom and front hall.

If you're pulling bathroom fixtures, putting new tile in,
Should you change those out as well? Once reno plans begin
You will find the "scope of work" increases by the day
And most builders do not mind...  As long as you can pay.

I hope my guy feels the same 'cause, lately, he's a wreck
And I've yet to tell him that we want a screened-in deck;
Plus, I have been noticing - our bedroom needs some work.
Wait until I tell him that.  He'll think that I'm a jerk.

He would have a valid point because, for 20 years,
We have not  done anything but paint and hang some sheers.
Now it's catching up to us and there's so much to do...
Think you have your budget worked out?  Multiply by 2.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Haters Gonna Hate

Image result for new england patriots memes 2017

We, who are New England fans and standing by our team,
Wish we could wake up to find we've had some awful dream;
That the country doesn't think we only have our wins
'cause our Patriots are not above committing sins.

"Hoisted on their own petard; they got what they deserve,"
Say the football fans who think we've got a lot of nerve
Bitching over penalties our team has just received.
More than half the country said they felt they'd been deceived.

It gives fans of other teams a way they can explain
How Tom Brady and New England keep inflicting pain
On whatever team they love as much as I love mine...
And it's why this ball infraction isn't just a fine.

If the Patriots had not, for so long, been so great
We would not be here, but now the haters gonna hate.
Up here, though, we know the next time Brady gets to play
They could give him bricks to throw... He'll crush them anyway.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Burned By The NFL

Embedded image permalink

4 games out for Brady, losing 2 picks from the draft,
Plus a million dollar fine for owner, Robert Kraft.
Seems a bit excessive for a slightly softer ball
Which did not affect the outcome of the game at all.

I believe Tom Brady likes a lower psi.
(Just like Aaron Rodgers prefers his ball pressure high.)
 Like the teams who warm their balls, perhaps Tom gained an edge
Though, without the proof, the Wells Report could just allege.

Worse than all the penalties the NFL's imposed?
Calls the 1st round ballot to the Hall of Fame be closed
To the greatest quarterback who's ever played the game
Who, unlike some other football players I could name,

Never beat a woman up or killed another guy
Never shot up steroids, not accused of getting high,
Doesn't hit his children - yet his reputation's shot.
That's what's worse than any punishments New England got.

All this vitriol against Tom Brady isn't fair.
He could take a living pig and throw it through the air
Spinning in a perfect spiral if he wanted to.
NFL has robbed him of the legacy he's due.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Blue Skying


Back a month or 2 ago, fresh snowfall to my waist,
Swore I wouldn't bitch about the heat...  I spoke in haste.
Not that I'm complaining, mind you (even though it's hot.)
I just wish we'd had a springtime.  This year we did not.

We went straight to summer; it's confusing local trees.
They're all dropping pollen, causing everyone to sneeze.
It's still better than tornadoes, floods, or massive drought.
Blue skies aren't something I would dare complain about.

Friday, May 08, 2015

The World's Best Mom


I know many people think their mother is the best,
Standing head and shoulders higher - above all the rest.
Hate to be the one to tell you this...  It isn't true,
Not unless my perfect mother is your mother, too.

True that my mom cannot cook a meal to save her life,
That she made a better mother than she did a wife,
But she taught us loyalty, compassion, how to share,
Honesty, determination, love (she's lots to spare)

Courage in a crisis, taking time to hold a hand,
Making do when things aren't working out the way you'd planned.
My mom does all that and more and thus, by any test,
I feel confident in claiming, my mom is the best.

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Deflategate - A Homer's View

Image result for new england patriots memes 2017

I am what you'd call a "homer." I support my team
Even if they've done something that makes me wanna scream.
Therefore, I'll defend New England. I'll ignore cat-calls
From the fans of other teams about deflated balls.

Go ahead! Accuse Tom Brady...  Never mind the fact
Other quarterbacks are also guilty of the act.
In the future weigh each ball that Brady gets to throw.
Sit him on the bench a while...  We'll start Garoppolo.

Brady may have "took one" on his handsome, chiseled chin;
Bet that only motivates him, even more, to win.
Nothing that the League can do will change the bottom line;
We still have Bill Belichick.  Believe me.  We'll be fine.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

The Real Jade Helm 15 Conspiracy

SlantRight 2.0: The Jade Helm 15 Drill is a Martial Law, Civil War and ...
(Courtesy of/

I have met a lot of Texans; they were good to me
Even if, politically, we didn't quite agree.
All the Texans I have met were patriotic folk...
Not one seemed as if their wagon wheels were short a spoke.

I must not have met the kind who think Jade Helm 15
Is a plot for sneaking Special Forces to the scene,
Where they'll round-up dissidents and take away their guns.
U.S. military there, detaining Texan sons.

Could it be the reason why I never met that kind,
Who - just like their Governor (who's clearly lost his mind) -
Think that this conspiracy is anything but nuts
Weren't in the military?  Didn't have the guts.

If they'd ever served their country they'd know it's a lie...
If Obama were a despot, still he wouldn't try.
Jade Helm 15's being staged where long-horned cattle roam
Because it lets half our Special Forces visit home.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Unsolicited Advice for The Thin Blue Line

has been experimenting with equipping body cameras to the 70 officers ...
(Courtesy of/

When police wear body cams, complaints against them drop.
I think I'd insist upon them if I were a cop.
That way I'd have evidence (if anyone's complaining)
That my interactions with civilians followed training.

When we are recording for posterity we tend
To be more aware about the messages we send.
Most of us are more polite - and that includes police -
Making them more likely to be keepers of the peace.

That's what the police are for and, mostly, what they do.
Some might not be "good guys" but I bet there's very few.
Studies prove that cameras calm situations down;
I'd think that police would want to have them in their town.

Monday, May 04, 2015

You're Welcome. Sincerely, Fenway's Faithful

Image result for a rod memes

'though it seemed like sour grapes, because our team got swept,
(Fenway's Angels looked down on the Red Sox and they wept)
New York's Yankees came to Boston... Beat us all three games.
Fenway's Faithful spent the weekend calling A-Rod names.

Someone had to do it, 'though it's fitting it was us.
Other ballparks might have felt they oughta make a fuss
When the record that's been held by legend Willie Mays
Fell to one whose steroid use affected how he plays.

That would be embarrassing.  In Boston we ignored
Any ceremony for the home-runs A-Rod's scored.
Don't be worried baseball fans.  We booed him for your sake.
You are welcome.  It's a sacrifice we're glad to make.

Friday, May 01, 2015

Je suis Chip

Killed by Police Under Questionable Circumstances
(Some of the young, black men killed by police under "questionable" circumstances. Photo/Courtesy of

With the death of Freddie Gray, is this the tipping point?
Will we - now - examine why so many in the joint
Are not white or wealthy? Why they're poor and, mostly, black?
Why it's only if you're white police cut you some slack?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you...  Thank you very much
To the cop who let me go when speeding... Just a touch.
'though I wasn't happy when I saw his flashing blues,
There was not a moment when I trembled in my shoes.

Were I not so lily-white would I have held my breath
Fearing that the interaction could be life or death?
Most police "Protect and Serve" but if you cannot trust
That they're there to keep you safe and not to make a bust

Why on earth would anyone go looking to the cops?
(When you're black they'll look for you at future, "random" stops.)
Neighborhood policing is the only thing that works;
Daily demonstrating that most cops don't act like jerks.