Jon Stewart's Going-Away Present

I still think it's early for discussing candidates

Running to be President of the United States

But I must admit that, when the candidate is Trump,

I cannot resist the urge; I think the guy's a chump.

Is it possible The Donald is so self-involved

He is unaware that those of us who have evolved

Wouldn't let him near the White House, even as a guest?

Donald Trump should stick to doing what he does the best:

Building tacky towers - with their toilets made of gold,

Bragging to the public of apartments that he's sold,

Combing over orange hair that must be plastered down,

Blustering and blathering and acting like a clown.

'though Trump's made Jon Stewart happy for his last few weeks,

(Gaining new material each time The Donald speaks)

Comedy that writes itself but, kinda like Ted Cruz,

This stuff's only funny if we're sure both men will lose.

The Cruz Conspiracy

(I suspect Late-Night comics of funding the Cruz campaign.)

Like a late-night comic's gift from heaven comes Ted Cruz,

Saying he's put on his Presidential running shoes.

Cruz, who is Canadian, claims Texas as his home;

Land where the conservatives and long-horned cattle roam.

He's the guy who's so far right, the right thinks he's a nut;

Same guy who insisted that the government be shut.

He's the guy who filibustered; reading Dr. Seuss...

He's the guy who looks like he's got 2 or 3 screws loose.

Due to rules for secret Super PACs we'll never know

If Ted Cruz contributors include The Daily Show.

But, since there's no Sarah Palin (though there's always Trump)

Cruz provides the perfect target on which they can jump.

The Daily Show with Brian Williams?

 Must see TV at our home includes The Daily Show

So, the night Jon Stewart said it's time for him to go,

Was a time of deep depression.  First we lost Colbert;

Now where will we find fake news? Unbalanced, yes...  But fair.

Last Week with John Oliver is great, but not enough.

Larry Wilmore's Nightly Show is still a little rough.

Who can take Jon Stewart's place?  I've given it some thought.

I think Brian Williams ought to give the job a shot.

Not to be insulting him by jumping on the pile

But, since Brian Williams won't be busy for a while,

As a guest he's proved that he's a smart and funny guy

I think he should give Jon Stewart's anchor-chair a try.

Warning - Dr. Seussilitis Is Spreading

(Photo/FakePosters.com)

 Dr. Seussilitis is contagious - like the flu...

Noticed that Jon Stewart and Ted Cruz show symptoms, too.

Ted Cruz held the Senate floor; he read Green Eggs and Ham,

Said that funding health care is like killing Uncle Sam.

Like the cranky fellow who won't eat eggs in a box

Cruz won't try Obama's plan, he's trumpeted on FOX.

Not in Texas nor across the nation's fruited plain...

Dr. Seussilitis might be messing with his brain.

He's been so irrational I'm worried for the guy.

Maybe he should learn from Dr. Seuss; give things a try.

In the end the guy who will not eat green eggs and ham

Finds out that he likes it; winds up happy as a clam.

Dr. Seussilitis - An Epidemic.

A must read.

Last night on The Daily Show, in Stewart's interview,

Calvin Trillin was the guest - I'd never had a clue.

'though I lack the skill he has, I'm very much relieved;

Now I know I'm not alone, as I had once believed.

I'd feared it was only me with Dr. Seussilitis

(Symptoms bear resemblance to a sort of brain colitis.

Mind will cramp and suddenly you're spewing out a rhyme.)

Recently discovered that it happens all the time.

Other people caught this bug and have it even worse.

Dogfight...2012... is filled with funny, clever verse.

Limericks by experts like Mad Kane and Dr. Goose -

They are like a Hershey's Kiss and Trillin's chocolate mousse.

I just used my Kindle.  Pressed a button; bought the book.

Now I have to go and have myself another look.

Good news is that - even though I know I read too fast -

Trillin's written lots of books.  May this not be his last.

Race for the White House - Across the Pond

Photo credit:  Associated Press

President Obama has received some recent flack;

Once again, the target of a partisan attack.

Romney says the choice to kill Bin Laden was a snap...

Angry that Obama seemed to take a victory lap.

I did not see any ships or flight-suits on the man,

Just a simple speech he gave while in Afghanistan

Where, again, he thanked the troops; saluted SEAL Team 6.

While, at home, Republicans got in some dirty licks.

Romney once claimed capturing Osama wasn't worth

U.S. forces trying to move heaven and the earth

Going into Pakistan; but - now - he says he would.

Won't acknowledge that the President did something good.

Mr. S. accuses me of favoring a side.

It is his opinion every politician's lied.

Says the fact Republicans, of late, have made me nuts,

While forgetting Democrats all hated Bush's guts,

Means I'm being partisan; as bad as FOX and Friends.

I think he's too cynical, for one side clearly bends

All the facts to "talking points" they parrot endlessly.

"Spiking footballs"? They should check the mirror, seems to me.