Christmas Music in November Is Bad for Your Health

 

Recent scientific research proves that I've been right

All along when I've insisted that "Oh, Holy Night,"

"Dominic the Donkey," "Jingle Bells," and "Drummer Boy"

In November makes you sick instead of filled with joy.

Yes, I'm feeling "Bah humbug-ish."  Sure... You're all prepared;

Decorated, presents bought and wrapped while carols blared.

All this Christmas music in November makes me tense

Since I haven't done a thing...  I mean you no offense

But, I need 2 weeks (at least) before I'm in the mood.

Right now, I can understand the Grinch's attitude.

I'm glad all you Whos are happy - jingling away -

Me? I'd like some "Peace on Earth" until the holiday.

Have Yourselves a Merry Christmas

"It's comin' on Christmas; they're cuttin' down trees..."

It's next week and, am I ready for it? Honey, please.

Haven't started decorating, haven't written cards,

Haven't strung a Christmas light (unlike our neighbors's yards.)

I just bought the tree and wreath; they're both completely bare.

Haven't started shopping 'cause it's frightening out there.

I'm supposed to pick our eldest up from Plymouth State;

There's a jack-knifed tractor-trailer on the highway... Great.

You won't see much rhyming from me in the coming days,

(And I bet that you are just as busy anyways)

So, if we don't get the chance again, I'm wishing you

Very Merry Holidays and Happy New Year, too.

Thank You Australia

Pakistani Taliban descended on a school

Where they opened fire and, as blood began to pool,

Hunted down the children so the death toll's very high...

I can't think about it anymore.  It makes me cry.

Hostages in Sydney (to a Muslim with a gun)

Could have led to riots before all was said and done.

'til the offer thousands of Australians all made;

"I'll ride with you" if you're feeling nervous or afraid.

When the tidings of the Season start to make me blue

I'll think of Australia's act of human kindness, too;

Answering a crime of hate with generosity.

And, if you're in Massachusetts, you can ride with me.

The Rus Down in Rus-ville Like Putin Alot...

(Image/smsuspur.net)

Getting close to Christmas-time and Putin's playing Grinch,

As the price of oil goes down and sanctions start to pinch;

He's cracked down internally on opposition groups.

Meanwhile, in Crimea, he's begun amassing troops.

Yet, the Rus in Russia - unlike Whoville and the Whos -

Still support their President, according to the news.

Putin's heart might be too small; his ego, though, is not...

His ambitions in the region also grew alot.

Though they face recession next year, Russians do not care.

Putin's just as popular as ever over there.

It's as if the Whos decided, late one Christmas night,

They should help to trash their town because the Grinch was right.

Merry Christmas? (cont.)

Illustration/Ammon Perry/http://doodletillomega.blogspot.com

Christmas tree fell over on the floor; I wasn't thrilled.

Needles flew, the tinsel tangled, and the water spilled.

Then our oldest son surprised us; he came home from school.

Room-mate drove him back; now I don't have to...  So, I'm cool.

Still, this year (like every year) I've got a lot to do.

It might be next year before I share new rhymes with you.

Therefore, I would like to wish you joyful holidays.

May the New Year bless you in a myriad of ways.

A Procrastinator's Christmas

Photo/Courtesy of Etsy.com

Haven't started doing cards; no presents have been bought.

Haven't decorated so my stomach's in a knot.

I know I've got things to do but they're predicting snow;

Plus, I'm sick of Christmas carols everywhere I go.

Jingle bells are ringing and those flashing lights are bright.

I'm not feeling peace on earth; I'd love a silent night.

Deck the halls and ho, ho, ho...  Dear Lord, I need a break.

Don't know how much Christmas joy my Grinchy heart can take.

A Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

 

I'm going to pick out a tree.

It won't be the first one I see.

It must be just right

Or else, Christmas night,

My loved ones will make fun of me.

Seussilitis Interruptus

Have to get my butt in gear; I'm running out of time.

Happens to me every year, so I can't blame a rhyme.

Well before this Dr. Seussilitis bug took hold

I'd begin to hibernate whenever it got cold.

Christmas always sneaks up on me; my attention drifts.

Somehow, I am always searching for last minute gifts.

Once I get my act together I'll be back...  'til then

Wish you jolly holidays and peace on earth to men.

I Miss Amazon

I got pretty snobby about gifts that people buy;

Said we planned to give the home-made present thing a try.

Harping on commercialism, seems that I forgot

Christmas is much easier if everything's been bought.

Merry Christmas darlin's; I've been working like a slave

And I'm missing days of old, when presents that we gave

Came from Toys r' Us or Amazon or, maybe Sears...

I am feeling pressure like I haven't felt in years.

Everyone but me has great ideas on what to do:

Painting, knitting, decorating - glitter and hot glue.

Only thing I've thought of is an awful lot of work.

Wish that we'd agreed on cash.  Bah humbug! I'm a jerk.

Merry Christmas?

(Photo/Turner Entertainment)

There is still a week (and some) before Thanksgiving Day...

I've just thrown my pumpkin from All Hallows Eve away;

Yet, I'm seeing Christmas decorations in the stores.

Some folks have already hung their wreaths upon their doors.

There are ads with Santa Claus; I'm hearing jingle bells.

Christmas-time too early is like 7 kinds of hells.

It's no wonder that the Grinch despised the very thought;

Advertisers make you think that happiness is bought.

Thus, they start the drumming earlier so you will shop;

Best thing about Christmas Day is that the drumbeats stop.

We're exchanging home-made gifts in my large family.

This year we'll be putting thought beneath the Christmas tree.

Have Yourselves A Merry Little Christmas.

Wishing you a peaceful and happy holiday season.

Even with a week to go I'm almost out of time.

Christmas season isn't good for writing things in rhyme.

When I start to think about something I want to say

I will get a line or 2 then - poof! It goes away.

Always start to think about something I have to do,

And I'm sure what's true for me is also true for you...

Even if you're organized (which I am, clearly, not)

Sometime late on Christmas Eve you'll find that you forgot

Something that you had  to do which you did not get done.

My advice to you is; let it go and just have fun.

Hold your family extra close this Christmas.  Pray for peace.

May the joy and love you have do nothing but increase.

Since I can't be sure when next I'll have the chance to write

May I wish you all, right now, a Happy Christmas night.

Blessings for the New Year (which is when I will be back;

Hopefully to find I haven't lost my rhyming knack.)

War on Christmas - Oh, oh. Oh!

'tis getting near Christmas and, here at my house,

I'm simply not ready.  I feel like a louse.

The garland's not hung and the tree isn't bought,

And I have done none of the things that I ought.

The cards aren't written; I do not have stamps.

I'm dreading addressing until my hand cramps.

The boys have a list of the things they would like;

The oldest a car and the youngest a bike.

I've yet to purchase a thing for the boys,

Nieces or neighbors - too old now for toys.

Have to start writing my plan of attack.

Don't know exactly when I will be back.

The 112th Congress - Bah Humbug!

So much for "God bless us, every one."

At this time of year, when we've got Christmas on our mind,

38 Republicans said "Screw you!" to the blind.

Voted down a treaty very like the A.D.A. 

What on earth is in it they object to anyway?

Doesn't have enforcement measures; cannot interfere.

All it does is ask the world to try what we've done here.

How is it that Senators have grown so far apart?

Why would you wheel Bob Dole in, to only break his heart?

Senate's meant to cool the tea; they spat into the cup.

That's not how you cool it down; that only heats things up.

I would say that, after this, avoiding cliffs or slopes?

Chances grew so small - to see them - we'd need microscopes.

Isn't It Too Early For Christmas?

Christmas carols everywhere; Rudolph's on T.V.

Neighbors' houses, strung with lights, are beautiful to see.

Some have gifts already wrapped; I haven't done a thing...

I don't even know what presents Santa Claus should bring.

Seems to me that Christmas started earlier this year.

Still, I'm just not ready yet to shift it into gear.

Yes - I'm a procrastinator...  Sad to say, but true.

Haven't even got a list of things I ought to do.

Black Friday - Not Even On A Dare

Christmas shoppers flock to malls and find no parking there.

Stores could give the stuff away for free; I wouldn't care.

I have never liked to shop...  It drives my mother nuts.

She is one of those who's there until the last store shuts.

Now I won't get near the place; the traffic is insane,

Crowds and lines and dealing with the subsequent back pain.

Christmas was  the time I'd let her drag me to the mall;

Thanks to my computer I don't have to go at all.

I expect to do most of my shopping while on-line.

Ordered gifts through Amazon last year and it was fine.

Only one was not on time - it came from overseas -

And I ordered very late.  There were no guarantees.

Cannot say what I will buy. My children will (sometimes)

Check and see what nonsense I've been saying in my rhymes.

Half the fun of Christmas gifts is that they're a surprise.

You get to experience the joy in someone's eyes.

I'll be home with eggnog and enjoy this Christmas season.

Thanks to Amazon and UPS there is no reason

That I'll have to face the hordes out hunting for a sale.

Sorry Mom but, I'm afraid, this  year I'm gonna bail.