Jon Stewart's Going-Away Present

I still think it's early for discussing candidates

Running to be President of the United States

But I must admit that, when the candidate is Trump,

I cannot resist the urge; I think the guy's a chump.

Is it possible The Donald is so self-involved

He is unaware that those of us who have evolved

Wouldn't let him near the White House, even as a guest?

Donald Trump should stick to doing what he does the best:

Building tacky towers - with their toilets made of gold,

Bragging to the public of apartments that he's sold,

Combing over orange hair that must be plastered down,

Blustering and blathering and acting like a clown.

'though Trump's made Jon Stewart happy for his last few weeks,

(Gaining new material each time The Donald speaks)

Comedy that writes itself but, kinda like Ted Cruz,

This stuff's only funny if we're sure both men will lose.

The Daily Show with Brian Williams?

 Must see TV at our home includes The Daily Show

So, the night Jon Stewart said it's time for him to go,

Was a time of deep depression.  First we lost Colbert;

Now where will we find fake news? Unbalanced, yes...  But fair.

Last Week with John Oliver is great, but not enough.

Larry Wilmore's Nightly Show is still a little rough.

Who can take Jon Stewart's place?  I've given it some thought.

I think Brian Williams ought to give the job a shot.

Not to be insulting him by jumping on the pile

But, since Brian Williams won't be busy for a while,

As a guest he's proved that he's a smart and funny guy

I think he should give Jon Stewart's anchor-chair a try.

Where's the EPA When You Need Them?

(Artwork courtesy of The Simpsons)

G.O.P. wants something from their Shutdown, don't know what;

To defund Obama Care, another budget cut?

One thing that they're sure they want? A little more respect.

They're not getting any lately...  What did they expect?

They could always tune to Bullshit Mountain for some praise.

(That is what Jon Stewart's calling FOX's "news" these days.)

When you hear them tell it, "slimming down" is for the good.

You won't feel the impact in your all-white neighborhood.

They do not support calls for the Tea Party to halt

Shutting down the government (which is Obama's fault.)

Something's in the water there; it's making them insane.

Maybe that's the reason why their programs are inane.

Look at Bill O'Reilly and what happened to Glenn Beck...

By the time he left the place the poor guy was a wreck.

They've become so toxic - spreading anger, fear, and doubt -

It's a shame the E.P.A. is closed and can't help out.

Warning - Dr. Seussilitis Is Spreading

(Photo/FakePosters.com)

 Dr. Seussilitis is contagious - like the flu...

Noticed that Jon Stewart and Ted Cruz show symptoms, too.

Ted Cruz held the Senate floor; he read Green Eggs and Ham,

Said that funding health care is like killing Uncle Sam.

Like the cranky fellow who won't eat eggs in a box

Cruz won't try Obama's plan, he's trumpeted on FOX.

Not in Texas nor across the nation's fruited plain...

Dr. Seussilitis might be messing with his brain.

He's been so irrational I'm worried for the guy.

Maybe he should learn from Dr. Seuss; give things a try.

In the end the guy who will not eat green eggs and ham

Finds out that he likes it; winds up happy as a clam.

Dr. Seussilitis - An Epidemic.

A must read.

Last night on The Daily Show, in Stewart's interview,

Calvin Trillin was the guest - I'd never had a clue.

'though I lack the skill he has, I'm very much relieved;

Now I know I'm not alone, as I had once believed.

I'd feared it was only me with Dr. Seussilitis

(Symptoms bear resemblance to a sort of brain colitis.

Mind will cramp and suddenly you're spewing out a rhyme.)

Recently discovered that it happens all the time.

Other people caught this bug and have it even worse.

Dogfight...2012... is filled with funny, clever verse.

Limericks by experts like Mad Kane and Dr. Goose -

They are like a Hershey's Kiss and Trillin's chocolate mousse.

I just used my Kindle.  Pressed a button; bought the book.

Now I have to go and have myself another look.

Good news is that - even though I know I read too fast -

Trillin's written lots of books.  May this not be his last.