Congratulations Team USA

To the chants of U.S.A. our women's soccer team

Celebrated on the field, achievement of their dream:

FIFA World Cup Champions...  Again! That's number 3,

But the most exciting plays were ones I didn't see.

We were stuck at traffic lights that I could not avoid.

Only 15 minutes late.  Already, Carli Lloyd

Scored 2 goals...  We barely made it home to see her third!

Had to wait until the half to see what else occured.

It was clear before the game was more than halfway done

That Japan could not catch up...  That we'd already won.

'though I'm disappointed that I missed it, I'll survive.

After all, I got to see the celebrations live.

FIFA? You Can Keep It.

Former FIFA leader is accusing the U.S.

Of pursuing charges in the current soccer mess

Only 'cause we're jealous that some World Cups aren't held here;

Angry that we're missing profits made from selling beer.

Why else would we care?, asks Warner - who we have accused

Of accepting bribery. He says that he's confused.

Since when do Americans, who don't watch soccer much -

Not big fans of footballs that a player's hands can't touch -

Worry what some FIFA leaders do behind the scenes?

Don't we know that's how the game is played on soccer greens?

Maybe so but, if that's true, then I don't wanna play.

Giving bribes to FIFA is too high a price to pay.

FIFA Elections

I thought things were bad under Commissioner Goodell

(Not too happy with the way he leads the NFL)

But, another football league has got it even worse

Forcing some perspective on these grievances I nurse.

With Goodell it's just New England that is getting screwed.

FIFA leaders, with the massive fortunes they've accrued

Through manipulation, bribes, and voting purchase schemes

For the last 2 decades, screwed a myriad of teams.

Now the leader under whom corruption seemed to thrive

Faces re-election; it's predicted he'll survive.

(Makes you wonder what it is Sepp Blatter has to pay

To remain in power...)  Give me Roger any day.

Update

Blatter has been re-elected FIFA President;
Thus, a chance to vote against corruption came and went.
Africa and Asia felt that Sepp's their kinda guy...
(Pity future players at the World Cup in Dubai.)

Brazil 2014 - A Wet Heat

 

Thank God for my air conditioner, because it's hot;

Outside it's a muggy swamp...  Inside my house it's not.

Here the air is cool and dry so I'll be staying in,

Sitting on my couch and hoping for a U.S. win.

I cannot imagine how the World Cup players feel

In the kind of climate with which teams have had to deal.

They have played in jungle heat, in air that's thick and wet,

Running up and down for 90 minutes, dripping sweat.

Still, I guess it's better in Brazil than in Dubai

Where it's like an oven ('though I hear the heat is dry.)

Those are some amazing athletes out on soccer pitches...

Either that or just a bunch of crazy sons of bitches.

Later...

Germans won the match and they must be congratulated;
Good news is the U.S. team was not eliminated.

Switching Wagons

I can't "un-see" this face-palm meme of the World Cup logo, now.

Suddenly the nation's filled with rabid, soccer fans.

Those who've never watched the games are rearranging plans,

Making sure they're free to see this Thursday's game at noon...

Hopping on bandwagons; singing team USA's tune.

I am very happy for our team and wish them well

But, when watching World Cup soccer, I'm still bored as hell.

I will grant that it's exciting when somebody scores;

It's the other 87 minutes which are bores.

If we tie with Germany on Thursday we advance

And, although our coach believes that we don't have a chance,

I guess no-one told the team that they're supposed to lose.

This time, when I watch them play, I plan on drinking booze.

That might make it fun to watch...  Perhaps you need a crowd

In a bar that's full of happy people being loud.

Maybe soccer fans aren't watching players when they cheer,

They're just saying "Thank you" to the guy who bought the beer.

The Beautiful Game?

Soccer fans are flocking to the cities of Brazil,

Met by angry residents who'll have to foot the bill

For the World Cup tournament that they are hosting there.

It's the biggest thing in sports...  Americans don't care.

Our team's in the "group of death;" unlikely to advance.

So much so, our coach has said that we don't stand a chance.

Plus, it's not that popular here in the U.S.A.

We prefer the kind of football NFL teams play.

'though the world calls soccer "football" ('cause they use their feet)

Here a forward pass is something quarterbacks complete,

Not a kick from guys in shorts that cause a ball to roll

Toward some other guy in shorts who'll try to block the goal.

I know that the world may disagree, but it's a bore.

There's a lot of running but nobody seems to score.

If they do they bellow "Goooaaal!" when balls go in the net...

It's how they awaken fans who fell asleep, I bet.