Sincerest Apologies to The Mayor of London

 

I have reached a stage of such complete embarrassment 

At the thoughtless comments by the U.S. President

To the Mayor of London after terrorists attacked

That I cannot find the words...  I'm totally gobsmacked.

May I please apologize, to England and the world

For the stupid insults that my president just hurled.

Let me just assure you that he doesn't speak for me.

I send my condolences and this apology.

Sincere Apologies to the World

I get so embarrassed at the way we're now perceived

Overseas; they marvel at how easily deceived

We Americans are proving many of us are -

Throwing our support to Trump: a loud-mouth TV star.

Just like P.T. Barnum, Trump loves stupid people, too...

Angry people who don't care if what he says is true,

Folks who don't believe that we're, already, pretty great.

Folks who are susceptible to messages of hate.

The whole world is getting nervous that this race is close.

(Global leaders using Xanax have increased their dose.)

How could the Americans be falling for this guy?

Someone whom the Russians have been helping on the sly?

Do they really want proliferation? Are they nuts?

ISIL and the Taliban are laughing in their huts.

Trump - who's what the British call a "bounder and a cad" -

He and his supporters make the rest of us look bad.

Kitchen Reno - Day 28

Hi...  I know it's been awhile and - no...  I haven't died

Renovations mean that there is no place left inside

That is not a cluttered mess... We need a Sherpa guide

Just to find our way upstairs (Okay.  Perhaps I lied.)

It could be the fumes from all the paint that we've applied

Or that workmen everywhere leave me nowhere to hide.
 Now the rhyming circuits in my brain are all but fried.

It's too loud to concentrate.  I haven't even tried.

If you came here looking for new rhymes and were denied,

Please forgive this interruption. Here, where I reside

Major renovations are a pretty bumpy ride;

There's been so much going on I've let my blogging slide.

The Seussilitis Commencement Address (With Apologies to Baz Luhrmann)

 

It is graduation season in our local towns;

Class of Twenty-Fifteen seniors, clad in caps and gowns,

Gather to receive diplomas they have, finally, earned.

Entering a world where all the calculus they learned

Won't help them as much as what great speakers can impart;

Lessons happy adults should adhere to from the start.

Best advice from a Commencement that I've ever heard

Was Baz Luhrmann's "Sunscreen" speech...  I second every word.

It boiled down to being kind to others and yourself,

Not to hide your talents 'neath a bushel on a shelf,

Carpe' every diem, gather rosebuds while you may.

Try to help the people who you'll meet along your way.

Offer your apologies to others when you're wrong,

Don't forget that life's a journey and the journey's long.

If you look around to find some rut in which you're stuck,

Forge a new path.  Wishing all of you the best of luck.

Memorial Day Rhyme, with Apologies to John McCrae

 

Never been In Flanders Fields, where countless poppies grow,

'though I have seen Arlington's white crosses - row on row.

Walked the grounds where those who've fallen make their final bed;

Mourned each time we add another to our honored dead.

Don't forget the sacrifices that so many made

After some fresh wreath to Unknown Soldiers has been laid.

That is what this weekend's for so, when you see a flag,

Think of what it represents. (I know...  I'm such a nag.)

It's not just the start of summer - golf and barbeques -

Nor the day on which you can begin to wear white shoes.

It is row on row of markers - each one with a name -

Silent sentinels at rest beneath eternal flame.

Sincere Apologies to NaPoWriMo-2015 Participants

Photo/Courtesy of www.fitbodyfifty.com

I was so enthusiastic when the month began;

"30 poems, 30 days?" I thought, "Of course I can."

I'd already done it twice before and it was fun,

Loved the feeling of accomplishment when I was done.

Registered my blog on-line...  The next day I got sick,

Thus I fell behind on my commitment pretty quick.

I tried writing 2 a day in hopes of catching up.

Is the challenge harder than I had remembered? Yup.

I salute the many poets who are still on track

(Thanks to those who "Followed" me...  I  tried to"Follow" back.)

But, I think it's only fair that I should let them know;

Will I be amongst the people still competing? No.

I am now so far behind that there is not a prayer

I will reach the goal I set and so it's only fair

That I warn real poets, I'm withdrawing...  I'm a jerk.

30 poems, 30 days is simply too much work.

I believe I'll stick to silly rhymes 5 days a week

Lest the rusty gears inside my head begin to squeak.

I don't want to work that hard - unless they offered pay.

Best of luck to those of you still writing once a day.

With Sincerest Apologies to the NSA

When you check the internet it's also checking you.

Amazon believes they can predict what you will do.

They know what you're thinking long before you've had the thought

So they're shipping items that you haven't even bought.

OnStar knows where you have been; predicts where you might go.

Facebook sends your status out to everyone you know.

On a daily basis, credit information's hacked;

Every single movement on the internet gets tracked.

There is almost nothing that a Google search can't find.

We give so much information out it blows my mind.

People at the NSA must look at this in awe,

Knowing - if they tried it - it would be against the law.

With Sincerest Apologies to Harvey Leonard

Harvey Leonard, WCVB's Chief Meteorologist.  (Photo/Roger Lyons/Examiner.com)

Wrote a rhyme the other day...  I swear, it was a joke.

Said the cold sent global-warming worries up in smoke.

Sent it to the only weatherman I really trust...

Judging by his terse response, my humor was a bust.

Frankly, I was puzzled when it wasn't well received

Until realizing that some people still believed

That a polar vortex moving farther to the south

Proves there's a conspiracy.  Next time I'll shut my mouth.

If you think I'm joking now, then check out FOX and Friends;

Go watch Stuart Varney, read the tweets The Donald sends.

That stuff isn't funny; it is scary and it's sad.

When did scientific education get so bad?

Sincerest Apologies to My Future Team-Mates

I will be stinking up the course at Stowe Country Club, VT  soon.

It's been like a sauna for weeks.

At times, seemed the sky had sprung leaks.

It thundered and stormed,

Some tornadoes formed,

With flooding near rivers and creeks.

Some may play in this; I do not.

No fun when the weather's this hot.

Give me the canned air,

Have not been out there.

My golf game has suffered...  A lot.

But soon we'll be up North with friends;

(I think we all know how this ends)

My swing will be bad.

When team-mates get mad;

Buy drinks at 19 - make amends.

My Sincerest Apologies to The Weather Channel

The Jersey shore is inundated. (Photo/Associated Press)

New York and New Jersey felt the worst of Sandy's wrath.
There's no hell that has the fury Mother Nature hath.
'though some trees and power lines lie scattered on the ground,
Here in Massachusetts we are, mostly, safe and sound.

I still have my power - only lost a tree or 3.
School's been cancelled 2 days now; the boys are home with me.

Weathermen were right and I should learn to shut my mouth.

Thoughts and prayers go out to those not too much farther south.