Never Again

 

Our son's moving to the condo that my husband's had

Since before the days he ever dreamed he'd be a dad.

We lived there together later (when we lived in sin.)

Then we bought a house and married...  My sister moved in.

After she moved out, my brother rented for a while.

Now the place could used fresh paint, a rug, some flooring tile.

But, because the rent is low, our darlin' eldest son

Volunteered to get the needed renovations done.

We just finished our house and, although I like to paint,

I've discovered that I lack the patience of a saint

Which is a requirement for those who'd renovate -

Waiting on a phone call from the flooring guy...  Who's late.

I have learned my lesson from our first reno-go-round,

When the building contractor is nowhere to be found,

I'm too old to deal with that again.  The kid is young.

But, I'm there for painting walls or getting pictures hung.

Kitchen Reno - Day 83. Getting Cranky

 

In the reno process, what I've come to hate the most

Is not knowing, day to day, if you'll be playing host

To someone who says they're coming and - then - doesn't show,

Leaving you to wonder if you should or shouldn't go...

Wouldn't want to miss them if they're only running late;

If you do, who knows how long you're gonna have to wait

'til they get around to you again.  So there you sit

On a perfect Autumn day... But, you are missing it.

You could be out playing golf, or at a country fair,

If they'd only let you know, for sure, you wouldn't care.

Just a call or text to say if they'll be in to work

So you're not left sitting, waiting, feeling like a jerk.

Kitchen Renovation - Day 70

Hallelujah! Thank you God (and Bob)...  I have a sink.

Fridge is making ice and filtered water we can drink.

I've been washing all the dirty dishes we've accrued,

Testing out the under-mounted seal that Top Line glued.

I've used paper plates so much I must've killed a grove.

Next, although it's greedy, I am praying for a stove.

Cooking on an outdoor grill's begun to lose its charm;

 I've now reached the stage where I'm prepared to trade an arm

Just to cook a meal indoors and not out in the rain...

Sorry.  I am also sick of hearing me complain.

I will just be happy that my sink has been installed -

And try to be patient 'til the electrician's called.

Kitchen Renovation - Day 56

I think I've been patient but my patience just ran out...

Two months now without a sink and I've begun to doubt

That our kitchen renovation's ever getting done.

Trust me when I say this process isn't any fun.

No one but our great designer (God bless Lisa Green)

Seems to care how long it's been or how I'm gonna clean

Pots and pans and cutting boards in my small, bathroom sink...

With no stove, preparing meals is harder than you'd think.

Still, I've tried to make it work with paper cups and plates,

Tripping over boxes and appliances in crates,

Waiting for our countertops... Then, yesterday, I heard

They won't be arriving here until the 23rd.

"Just a couple days," they said.  Yet, that will make 19.

And, although I wanted to, I didn't make a scene...

But I'd recommend you undergo a change of heart

If you've been considering a renovation start.

Kitchen Reno - Day 37

From the tunnel of our reno we can see a light;

We've begun to hope that everything will be alright.

Almost all the floors are laid, the cabinets installed,

Waiting on the counter-tops - the templater's been called.

After that, the new appliances should all arrive.

Kitchen renovation has kicked in to over-drive.

All those months of preparation, now the end's in sight...

Or else it's a train behind that fast approaching light. 

Kitchen Reno - Day 28

Hi...  I know it's been awhile and - no...  I haven't died

Renovations mean that there is no place left inside

That is not a cluttered mess... We need a Sherpa guide

Just to find our way upstairs (Okay.  Perhaps I lied.)

It could be the fumes from all the paint that we've applied

Or that workmen everywhere leave me nowhere to hide.
 Now the rhyming circuits in my brain are all but fried.

It's too loud to concentrate.  I haven't even tried.

If you came here looking for new rhymes and were denied,

Please forgive this interruption. Here, where I reside

Major renovations are a pretty bumpy ride;

There's been so much going on I've let my blogging slide.

The Red Sox & The Bright Side of Reno

I don't plan to watch the Red Sox anymore this year;

It's no fun to see a team I've always held so dear

Flounder through a season - piling loss on top of loss -

Now, with renovations going, I don't give a toss.

Once I'd be depressed that Boston's season's shot to hell,

This year I don't have the time or energy to dwell.

Hopefully, by football season, all of this is done

And sports news is all about the games New England's won.

Kitchen Reno - Day 1

Demolition's started: power saws and bangs and thuds...

In less time than you'd believe they had it down to studs.

We still have a sink and a refrigerator but

My new kitchen's starting with an - almost - total gut

They tore up the front hall tile and found a damaged floor;

Water has been leaking in.  We need a new front-door.

3 more rooms to pack before the hardwood's put in place...

There are boxes everywhere.  I'm running out of space.

Bought the sink and faucet at a place I found on-line.

Fingers crossed that they'll arrive and everything is fine.

I will keep you posted on the process if there's time

And I find uncluttered space to sit and write a rhyme.

Dear HGTV... I'm Not Buying It

Just heard from our builder who's agreed that, late next week,

He'll begin the process of the havoc that he'll wreak

On the kitchen I have used for over 20 years...

Now I find I'm overwhelmed with renovation fears.

Everything's chaotic 'cause the schedule's been changed

As contractors try to get vacation plans arranged.

I still haven't bought a sink or faucet or the tile.

Don't know what I'm doing (and I haven't for a while.)

It's been months and months but we have yet to see the start.

I'm a wreck before they've even torn the place apart.

HGTV makes it look so easy but it's not...

3 days for a kitchen renovation? Not a shot.

Kitchen Reno Update - What Were We Thinking?

Kitchen cabinets are coming in in mid-July

But we still have no idea how much the flooring guy

Plans to charge for hardwood we are hoping to install.

Angie's List gives him an A...  I can't agree, at all.

Weeks ago he promised us that he'd submit a quote.

Since then he has disappeared - no phone call... Not a note.

I am losing confidence in my contractor's subs;

Chewed my fingernails so much I've worn them down to nubs.

Nothing else can start until the flooring guy is through.

After him there's still a million things we've got to do.

Kitchen renovations can produce a lot of stress...

Whether it is worth the pain is anybody's guess.

Kitchen Renovation Update

Kitchen renovation isn't moving very fast.

Since the time we started planning (4 months in the past)

Forward progress in the process has slowed to a crawl...

Now the flooring guy we're using won't return my call.

I still need wood samples from him so we can decide

What we want installed but I can't get them (though I've tried.)

I did get some back-splash, sample tiles I found on-line.

Good thing that I did; computer screens (at least on mine)

Make it hard to judge a shade of color that will match.

Always get a sample before buying a whole batch.

Have to make a plan to go and look at slabs of quartz;

"Highly recommended" by the Consumer Reports.

Cabinets are ordered; don't know when they're coming in.

Builder hasn't given me a date when he'll begin.

I am on my mark and set...  But still no starting gun.

It could be the end of summer by the time we're done.

Unsolicited Kitchen Renovation Advice

When you start remodeling your kitchen, keep in mind

If your home is "open concept" you will quickly find

Can't buy hardwood for one room...  You have to do them all.

Then you need new tile for the guest bathroom and front hall.

If you're pulling bathroom fixtures, putting new tile in,

Should you change those out as well? Once reno plans begin

You will find the "scope of work" increases by the day

And most builders do not mind...  As long as you can pay.

I hope my guy feels the same 'cause, lately, he's a wreck

And I've yet to tell him that we want a screened-in deck;

Plus, I have been noticing - our bedroom needs some work.

Wait until I tell him that.  He'll think that I'm a jerk.

He would have a valid point because, for 20 years,

We have not  done anything but paint and hang some sheers.

Now it's catching up to us and there's so much to do...

Think you have your budget worked out?  Multiply by 2.

Kitchen Reno - One Giant Leap

On the day I wrote I thought my builder 'd disappeared

He stopped by to meet with me.  It wasn't what I'd feared;

What with all the winter damage everyone has had

He's been working night and day. The poor guy's looking bad.

But, we got a lot accomplished; called the flooring guy.

Now I have a counter-top and tile I've gotta buy.

I went to A Touch of Tile in Westford where I found

What may be the best selection of fine tiles around.

Bought my new appliances at Hunter's down the road.

Howie worked the numbers and he's saving me a load.

If you live near Littleton it could be worth your while;

Hunter's carried all appliances in every style.

(I owe an apology to those who read my rhymes

As a Seussilitis version of The New York Times;

Here expecting news yet some reviews are all they find.

Sorry...  I don't choose the rhyming voices in my mind.)

Kitchen Renovation Crazy

Shopping for appliances, a faucet, kitchen sink;

I've done so much research that it's getting hard to think.

Signed up for Consumer Reports.  Read on-line reviews.

Checked the prices everywhere...  It's still too hard to choose.

Builder hasn't called me back, although he said he would.

(Neither has his flooring guy so we can't pick our wood.)

I'm afraid I've scared him off - he finds me hard to please -

'cause I wanted him to switch our lights to LEDs.

Thank God my designer's great or I might lose my mind.

Lisa Green's Design Group, Concord, Mass., has been a find.

I would highly recommend her services except

I've got other rooms for her.  The secret's better kept.

Kitchen Reno - In Praise of Experts

(This isn't actually it, but I haven't figured out how to share mine with you, yet.)

I just got a look at my new kitchen elevations;

Green Design Group's well exceeded my high expectations.

Lisa Green is knowledgeable, funny - very kind -

Didn't miss a beat at a last minute change of mind.

She is making sure there's not a space that goes to waste

And, to my great fortune, Lisa has outstanding taste.

She has been here twice already and she stays in touch;

Answers all my questions and has helped me out so much.

Now I need appliances; I may buy them on-line.

Lisa said some other clients did and they were fine.

Helping smooth what's bound to be a pretty bumpy ride,

Nice to have an expert like her working by my side.

Readying for Reno

The adjustor's coming here in order to assess

If our home insurance plan will cover for the mess

Winter left behind it with its snow and wind and ice;

Taking out our stairs and dripping through the ceiling... Twice.

So, I have to clean the house - again - a task I hate.

We've sure had a lot of strangers visiting of late;

Coming by in preparation for the reno start...

There's a lot of work before they tear your house apart.

This place hasn't looked so neat since we had both the boys

And we filled it up with our accumulated toys.

But, I can't have people here discussing future jobs

Learning that they're working for a bunch of lazy slobs.

You Get What You Pay For?

As of 10:00 on Monday morning, Facebook is down about $4.00 from its initial price...  Just sayin'.

 I just do not understand the Facebook I.P.O.

Can't see how investors think the profits there will grow

Big enough (100 times what Facebook made last year)

To make their purchase worth it... We plan on steering clear.

"Put it into real estate", my father always said.

Glad we didn't listen to him now, 'cause we'd be dead.

Summer place I wanted then? About a quarter mil...

Watched the prices tumbling the last 6 years, until;

We could buy that same place now for half what it was then.

But, with college for 2 boys...  Excuse me - 2 young men -

And a kitchen, screened in porch, and deck we want to build

I think our financial dance card is already filled.