Poor Tom Brady

If you've ever doubted or were sitting on the fence,

Unsure whether football injures brains, more evidence

Surfaced when Tom Brady said he'd vote for Donald Trump...

Sacks on my poor quarterback did worse than leave a lump.

Only explanation I can find is CTE:

Chronic and traumatic brain encephalopathy.

If Tom hadn't been concussed, thus damaging his brain,

He would not support the Donald, 'cause that's just insane.

Donald Trump would make a truly, awful President

(Guess we know where hot air from deflated footballs went.) 

We can't blame Tom Brady - still the greatest of all time -

But, what football does to players' brains should be a crime.

The New England Patriots... Whatever.

Looks as if the secret's out on how the Pats prepare

For opposing football teams... Our strategy's unfair:

Make the other coaches paranoid enough they'll think

There's a reason why they got warm Gatorade to drink.

Keep them busy sweeping rooms in case we've planted bugs,

Certain that, if head-sets fail, it's 'cause we've yanked the plugs,

Worried when a fan is taping their team at a game...

Belichick's the Hooded One opponents dare not name.

Critics say New England cheats; they say we break the rules,

Claiming it's the reason why we make them look like fools.

Poor New England cannot win - except for on the field -

Since the haters hide behind the NFL's own shield...

Casting slings and arrows, rumors, allegations - mud

While football's Commissioner is pulling on his pud.

Go ahead.  Suspect us of a myriad of sins

But our crime is, mostly, that New England often wins. 

Judge Berman for President

Fans can just ignore what all the haters have to say,

Patriots were vindicated...  Brady gets to play.

Judge has ruled the NFL's behavior wasn't fair,

Siding with New England and Tom Brady's case. So there!

His impartial ruling found that four games were too much

For some balls that might be slightly softer to the touch.

'though the NFL's appealed, appeals can take awhile;

Could be years before the case would even come to trial.

I hope Brady sues their ass for what they've put him through,

Making accusations as they robbed him of his due

Of the joy he should have felt, with all his heart and soul,

At New England's victory in last year's Super Bowl.

Damage Done

(Graphic/Courtesy of FOX Business)

I still can't believe a little missing PSI

From a ball results in a suspension for a guy

That exceeds the one he'd get for beating up his wife,

Tarnishing a legacy he's worked for all his life.

Brady says he's innocent.  There's not a shred of proof

This was a conspiracy and not a harmless goof.

Pressure in the football didn't impact Brady's play;

NFL replaced the balls and he won anyway.

I'm glad Tom is fighting back but fear that it's too late...

Thanks to the Commissioner, the haters gonna hate.

Brady's reputation - even though it isn't fair -

Has been damaged by the NFL, beyond repair.

A Boston Sports Fan's Lament

Fans of Boston's pro-sports teams are having a bad year;

Not a situation we're familiar with up here.

In the past, when one team isn't doing very well

A team from another sport gives their opponents hell...

Celtics were eliminated, so - no basketball.

Bruins didn't make it to the play-off games at all.

Red Sox are in free fall and will, likely, finish last.

Patriots - who've been New England's saviors in the past -

'though they won the Super Bowl are, currently, embroiled

In a scandal which has left their reputation soiled.

I might switch to watching women's soccer 'cause it's clear

Local teams aren't gonna give me very much to cheer.

Dear Robert Kraft... That Wasn't Helpful

(Photo/Courtesy of AP via The Boston Herald)

In New England fans are feeling like we got the shaft,

One just driven further in by owner, Robert Kraft.

After meeting fellow owners, he dropped his appeal

But, unless the speculation that he cut a deal -

Took the hit to save Tom Brady - turns out to be true,

Fans are angry...  Feeling it was wrong for him to do.

Since the Wells Report concluded he'd done nothing wrong

And the evidence against Tom Brady isn't strong

 It's seen as admitting that the Patriots are cheats;

That will be our reputation when the team competes.

Non-New England fans have always thought that anyway;

Claiming that we need unfair advantages to play.

Kraft asks fans to trust his judgement in this latest move...

Maybe it's a plan to give the team something to prove?

Most fans think he should have chose to fight the N.F.L.

His capitulation isn't going over well.

Deflategate - A Homer's View

I am what you'd call a "homer." I support my team

Even if they've done something that makes me wanna scream.

Therefore, I'll defend New England. I'll ignore cat-calls

From the fans of other teams about deflated balls.

Go ahead! Accuse Tom Brady...  Never mind the fact

Other quarterbacks are also guilty of the act.

In the future weigh each ball that Brady gets to throw.

Sit him on the bench a while...  We'll start Garoppolo.

Brady may have "took one" on his handsome, chiseled chin;

Bet that only motivates him, even more, to win.

Nothing that the League can do will change the bottom line;

We still have Bill Belichick.  Believe me.  We'll be fine.

Congratulations to My World Champion New England Patriots

(Not mad anymore Bro.)

"Cue the duck boats" and confetti; then strike up the band.

Patriots have just been crowned the best team in the land.

Seahawks made it much too close...  They had it on the 1

But, for reasons unbeknownst to me, they didn't run.

When Seattle's Russell Wilson tried to throw a pass

Butler's goal line interception saved New England's ass.

Vindication for the weeks of listening to crap

Came when Brady took a knee after the final snap.

Ten years since their last parade but this makes number 4

Belichick and Brady won (in case you're keeping score.)

There is joy throughout New England, but there's also snow.

Hope the plows can do their job 'cause we intend to go.

Embrace The Hate

 


Hard to love a sports team every other city fears...

Now I know how Yankees fans have felt for all those years.

I've cheered for New England since the Grogan Super Bowl;

Now the country hates my Pats, according to a poll.

64% of them believe the NFL

Ought to ban the Patriots from Glendale...   What the hell?

Let's all take a breath here and, as Rodgers said, "Relax."

Even if we're guilty, it's a misdemeanor... Max!

Belichick and Brady said that they were unaware

Footballs used to beat the Colts were down 2 pounds of air.

Brady threw the balls they gave him and, once they were switched,

Pats scored 28 more points...  Still, Chuck Pagano bitched.

Mr. S., my Yankees' fan, reminds me - there are perks.

Who cares if the country thinks my Patriots are jerks?

I can learn to live with that and just embrace the hate;

Knowing it's the price you pay for dynasties this great.

The Patriots - "Say It Ain't So, Joe"

 

What's an old New England fan like me supposed to do

Learning accusations made against the Pats are true?

We used footballs that were not the legal PSI.

Hoped it was an accident but now I wanna cry.

Didn't change the outcome of the game; the best team won

But, 'though other quarterbacks admit it's often done,

This makes us look dirty...  And for what? A needless ploy.

It has made this Super Bowl much harder to enjoy.

Scandals haunt Bill Belichick; they're calling him a cheat.

(No one but a Pats fan loves a coach who won't be beat.)

Even if we crush Seattle, Belichick can't win.

He will only be remembered for another sin.

I don't think Head Coaches check the balls; it's not their job

But, because he's arrogant and rude (and he's a slob)

There are calls to fire Belichick...  That's really dumb.

Bill has won so many rings he wears them on his thumb.

I believe the Patriots will win with any ball;

It's our year and, although pride goeth before the fall,

Knowing that our reputation's underneath this cloud

Means I needn't worry that I'm gonna feel too proud.

The Patriots - Once More Unto The Breach

 Here we go again, I guess... The haters gonna hate;

Jealous that their football teams will never be as great.

"Pats win 'cause they're cheaters"? Thought we'd put that one to rest;

Thought we'd proved Bill Belichick and Brady are the best.

"Not so fast," the haters say.  For now we stand accused;

Claim was made that we deflated balls that Brady used.

So, although we crushed the Colts to win the AFC,

This might further tarnish the New England legacy.

NFL has got investigations underway

While the Patriots, who've got a Super Bowl to play

(This one makes it number 8) continue to ignore

All the haters - who can't stand the thought we might win 4.