Arming Sister Margaret!

If the GOP agrees to sticking out their necks:

Call for comprehensive, universal background checks,

Give police authority to take somebody's gun,

Raise the legal age to purchase them to 21,

I think we should let the teachers in a school decide

If they want to have a loaded pistol by their side...

If they did - and if they're trained on how to use their guns -

I'm prepared to compromise and let them arm the nuns.

(Sister Margaret was armed... She had her rosary.

She'd begin to swing those beads when she was mad at me.

With that heavy, metal cross that dangled from the end

She was not a woman you would argue with, my friend.)

'though, not everyone is Sister Margaret - Thank God! -

My sons had two State cops coach their Varsity Wrestling squad;

I'd trust guys like them with guns if they brought them to school.

I would make that bargain any day...  I'm not a fool.

If the President's sincere and starts to back away

From positions long supported by the NRA

I think that he'd see his polls dramatically increase.

He would have my full support...  Will wonders never cease?

Unsolicited Advice for Religious Extremists

(Artwork/doesntevenmakesense.com)

Ever since the human race conceived of any god

We have used religion as a way for men to prod

People into actions most would, otherwise, not take;

Murders, wars, beheadings - burning "witches" at the stake.

"This is what our god demands," is always the excuse.

Gods who call for that are ones for which I have no use.

If gods have an enemy that they need me to smite

I'd think that's an indication something wasn't right.

Give me One who says that I must love my fellow man;

Who commands that I help them in any way I can.

One who calls for tolerance of other points of view.

One who doesn't judge what you believe, but what you do.

"God is love," the scriptures say - no matter which you read.

God is our support and comfort in our times of need.

God does not demand that unbelievers have to die...

Doing evil unto someone?  That's the other guy.

Dr. Seussilitis Does The SCOTUS Blog - Affirmative Action Editon

The Supreme Court of the United States voted to uphold Michigan's ban on Affirmative Action. (Cartoon/Courtesy of instruction.blackhawk.edu)

SCOTUS ruled, at 6 to 2, that voters get to choose

If there's a protection that minorities should lose.

Michigan decided that Admissions at a school

Cannot factor race when they're selecting from their pool.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor strongly disagreed;

Said the program's one that some minorities still need.

On this issue, I am still unsure how I should feel:

Knowing that the evidence for racism is real,

Wanting to be helpful (it's the Irish Catholic guilt)

Being proud of the protections that the 60s built.

Is that condescending to a person 'cause they're black;

Just assuming I've got some advantages they lack?

That's where I'm uncomfortable. I don't know which side's right,

And I'll never, really know the answer, 'cause I'm white.

All I know is most of color think the program works

And, in their experience, the voters can be jerks.

Aren't we all about protecting the minority?

Not as if they're asking for a lot, it seems to me...

Just consideration of a little more than grades

'til the scar our history has inflicted on them fades. 

At The Miriam

(Photo of Miriam Hospital courtesy of Brown.edu)

Hospitals are not the place you want to spend your day,

Even if it's raining and the sky is dark and gray,

Even when the doctor's skilled and all the staff is kind,

Somewhere else you'd rather be would not be hard to find.

That's if you're the patient who is having surgery...

When you love that person, there is no place else to be.

So, if I should miss a rhyme, I hope you'll understand

Sometimes things do not turn out exactly as we planned.

'though I hope to get around to posting 30 rhymes,

Be aware - you may observe a gap or two, at times.

And, if you are sitting in a hospital somewhere,

You have all my sympathy.  I've offered up a prayer.

Malaysian Airlines MH370 - What the Hell?

(Map courtesy of IBTimes.co.uk)

How can planes go missing in this modern day and age?

Disappear without a trace - at all - at this late stage?

If it's true that cell phones ring, why not use GPS?

How come no one on the plane got out an S.O.S.?

Why did it take so long for the rescuers to learn

Once they lost transponder signals, radar showed a turn?

They were looking in a spot the military knew

Wasn't near the place the plane had vanished into blue.

What the hell is going on?  I want an explanation!

Why did all those people never reach their destination?

5 days of uncertainty on where the plane last flew.

Still no trace of wreckage or of passengers and crew.

Thoughts and prayers go out to those who've lost someone they love.

Hoping they find solace but, when push comes down to shove,

I bet they want answers more than anything right now...

When and where the plane went down but, mostly, why and how.

TIME's Person of the Year - Pope Francis

Photo/Courtesy of TIME Magazine (On news-stands now.)

TIME just named their Person of the Year - they chose the Pope;

Man who gives lapsed Catholics a modicum of hope

That the Church is capable of modifying views.

Francis walks a different path while in St. Peter's shoes.

Said the Church has focused on the rules of sex too much

And that Congregations have, hence, fallen out of touch

With the teachings Jesus preached on what our lives are for.

Francis wants good Catholics to work to help the poor.

'though I'm glad the tone has changed, the dogma's still the same.

You still can't become a priest if you were born a dame.

Church still harbors clergy who helped cover up a crime...

Who am I to judge him, though?  I'll leave that up to TIME.

I Need A Break

(Photo/Plymouth.edu)

I've been glued to television; sickened by the news...

Going to New Hampshire to be soothed by mountain views.

Cannot watch this tragedy rehashed, again, today.

Tired of the talking heads and what they have to say.

Have to skip the tributes 'cause they only make me cry.

There is nothing I can do to help the FBI.

I'll be sending money to a local guy who lost

Both his legs on Monday - which still won't defray his cost.

That - and offer up my prayers - it's all that I can do

And, as a lapsed Catholic, my prayers may not go through.

So, I'm going to the mountains where I'll be up high

Praying for the victims and that we will catch this guy.

"That's Just What Jesus Said"

I suppose it's fitting on Good Friday I'm near death:

Head is throbbing, throat is sore, I cannot catch my breath.

Hopefully, by Easter, I'll be up and on the mend,

But this really sucks...  Which is what Jesus said, my friend.

A Prayer for Pope Francis

Pope Francis greets the crowds in Saint Peter's Square. (Photo/The Telegraph)

Cardinal Bergoglio's become the newest Pope.

Wishing him the best of luck as he attempts to cope

With the sordid scandals that the church still has to face:

Searching for solutions to the priesthood's fall from grace,

Dealing with the Vatileaks and Curia's control...

It's enough to test the fortitude of any soul.

Francis is a Jesuit; the first to be the Pope...

Having met some Jesuits, I know he's not a dope.

Argentina breeds them tough; I'm sure that he'll do fine

(Or else, like his predecessor, he can just resign.)

There is speculation that the choosing of his name

Means that Francis plans to make reforming things his aim;

Focusing on poverty, though still conservative,

Cardinals have made a choice the faithful have to live.

He has asked that people pray for him; and so I will...

Even a lapsed Catholic will never lose that skill.

Not A Prayer

Catholics are leaderless; they're searching for a Pope,

Giving some parishioners a modicum of hope

That the Church will modernize...  I don't think there's a prayer

Cardinals have any plans to change pastoral care.

Nuns will stay "subservient"; their ordination's out.

Church would never let a woman wield that kind of clout.

So, despite the many scandals it has covered up

(Bad enough that Benedict stepped down and passed the cup)

Don't believe the Vatican is ever gonna change.

(I think it's the celibacy; makes your world view strange.)

'though I'm sure the next Pope is a fine, upstanding guy

I don't think reformers ought to get their hopes too high.

Pope Benedict XVI Stepping Down

(Photo/USAToday.Com)

Benedict the 16th is retiring as Pope;

Says his health and age have made it difficult to cope

With his many duties as the earthly voice of God...

Laying down his crozier (that long and gilded rod),

Taking off his mitre (it's that tall and pointy hat),

Stepping down from Peter's throne.  I can't imagine that.

Popes die in the traces; they are not supposed to quit.

People in the Twitter-sphere have been all over it:

"First time that a German's ever volunteered to leave,"

"Someone poached #exBenedict."  Some Catholics believe

This means that the Church will start to modernize, at last;

Stop discriminating against women...  Not so fast.

If you know the Church at all (as I suspect I do)

You'd know that the Pontif-ex appointed quite a few

Of the Cardinals who will be gathering in Rome

Where they will decide who'll call the Papal Office home.

They may choose a Spanish-speaker or an African;

One thing I can guarantee, however - it's a man.

It would take a miracle if anyone they pick

Says that priests need hearts and souls and faith and not a....  Uhmmm.
Male genitalia.

The Vatican was struck by lightning the night the Pope announced his retirement.  Really.

The Vatican - Are They Crazy?

(Warning: YouTube clip is PG13 and contains
some "Filthy mouths and  bad attitudes.")

First, I'd like to make it clear - I'm not an atheist,

It's only religious dogma I tend to resist.

I believe there's Something...  What It is I cannot tell.

My poor father's pretty sure I'm going straight to Hell.

I was raised a Catholic. I went to Catholic schools.

I'm no longer Catholic; I didn't like their rules.

Why not blame it on the nuns? The Vatican sure does.

Don't like when a Sister will not shut her mouth because

Women are subservient, according to the Church.

Men are meant to rule and nuns are joggling their perch.

I think that's ridiculous. It's past time to ordain

Women. Besides, telling nuns to "Shut up" is insane!

Maybe Rome could look at it like this; As Jesus' spouse,

Nuns should be responsible for cleaning up His House.

It's been looking dirty lately...  Make the Pope a nun.

Give it to a woman when you must get something done.