Not A Prayer

Catholics are leaderless; they're searching for a Pope,

Giving some parishioners a modicum of hope

That the Church will modernize...  I don't think there's a prayer

Cardinals have any plans to change pastoral care.

Nuns will stay "subservient"; their ordination's out.

Church would never let a woman wield that kind of clout.

So, despite the many scandals it has covered up

(Bad enough that Benedict stepped down and passed the cup)

Don't believe the Vatican is ever gonna change.

(I think it's the celibacy; makes your world view strange.)

'though I'm sure the next Pope is a fine, upstanding guy

I don't think reformers ought to get their hopes too high.

Pope Benedict XVI Stepping Down

(Photo/USAToday.Com)

Benedict the 16th is retiring as Pope;

Says his health and age have made it difficult to cope

With his many duties as the earthly voice of God...

Laying down his crozier (that long and gilded rod),

Taking off his mitre (it's that tall and pointy hat),

Stepping down from Peter's throne.  I can't imagine that.

Popes die in the traces; they are not supposed to quit.

People in the Twitter-sphere have been all over it:

"First time that a German's ever volunteered to leave,"

"Someone poached #exBenedict."  Some Catholics believe

This means that the Church will start to modernize, at last;

Stop discriminating against women...  Not so fast.

If you know the Church at all (as I suspect I do)

You'd know that the Pontif-ex appointed quite a few

Of the Cardinals who will be gathering in Rome

Where they will decide who'll call the Papal Office home.

They may choose a Spanish-speaker or an African;

One thing I can guarantee, however - it's a man.

It would take a miracle if anyone they pick

Says that priests need hearts and souls and faith and not a....  Uhmmm.
Male genitalia.

The Vatican was struck by lightning the night the Pope announced his retirement.  Really.

The Vatican - Are They Crazy?

(Warning: YouTube clip is PG13 and contains
some "Filthy mouths and  bad attitudes.")

First, I'd like to make it clear - I'm not an atheist,

It's only religious dogma I tend to resist.

I believe there's Something...  What It is I cannot tell.

My poor father's pretty sure I'm going straight to Hell.

I was raised a Catholic. I went to Catholic schools.

I'm no longer Catholic; I didn't like their rules.

Why not blame it on the nuns? The Vatican sure does.

Don't like when a Sister will not shut her mouth because

Women are subservient, according to the Church.

Men are meant to rule and nuns are joggling their perch.

I think that's ridiculous. It's past time to ordain

Women. Besides, telling nuns to "Shut up" is insane!

Maybe Rome could look at it like this; As Jesus' spouse,

Nuns should be responsible for cleaning up His House.

It's been looking dirty lately...  Make the Pope a nun.

Give it to a woman when you must get something done.