A Prayer for Pope Francis

Pope Francis greets the crowds in Saint Peter's Square. (Photo/The Telegraph)

Cardinal Bergoglio's become the newest Pope.

Wishing him the best of luck as he attempts to cope

With the sordid scandals that the church still has to face:

Searching for solutions to the priesthood's fall from grace,

Dealing with the Vatileaks and Curia's control...

It's enough to test the fortitude of any soul.

Francis is a Jesuit; the first to be the Pope...

Having met some Jesuits, I know he's not a dope.

Argentina breeds them tough; I'm sure that he'll do fine

(Or else, like his predecessor, he can just resign.)

There is speculation that the choosing of his name

Means that Francis plans to make reforming things his aim;

Focusing on poverty, though still conservative,

Cardinals have made a choice the faithful have to live.

He has asked that people pray for him; and so I will...

Even a lapsed Catholic will never lose that skill.

Not A Prayer

Catholics are leaderless; they're searching for a Pope,

Giving some parishioners a modicum of hope

That the Church will modernize...  I don't think there's a prayer

Cardinals have any plans to change pastoral care.

Nuns will stay "subservient"; their ordination's out.

Church would never let a woman wield that kind of clout.

So, despite the many scandals it has covered up

(Bad enough that Benedict stepped down and passed the cup)

Don't believe the Vatican is ever gonna change.

(I think it's the celibacy; makes your world view strange.)

'though I'm sure the next Pope is a fine, upstanding guy

I don't think reformers ought to get their hopes too high.

Pope Benedict XVI Stepping Down

(Photo/USAToday.Com)

Benedict the 16th is retiring as Pope;

Says his health and age have made it difficult to cope

With his many duties as the earthly voice of God...

Laying down his crozier (that long and gilded rod),

Taking off his mitre (it's that tall and pointy hat),

Stepping down from Peter's throne.  I can't imagine that.

Popes die in the traces; they are not supposed to quit.

People in the Twitter-sphere have been all over it:

"First time that a German's ever volunteered to leave,"

"Someone poached #exBenedict."  Some Catholics believe

This means that the Church will start to modernize, at last;

Stop discriminating against women...  Not so fast.

If you know the Church at all (as I suspect I do)

You'd know that the Pontif-ex appointed quite a few

Of the Cardinals who will be gathering in Rome

Where they will decide who'll call the Papal Office home.

They may choose a Spanish-speaker or an African;

One thing I can guarantee, however - it's a man.

It would take a miracle if anyone they pick

Says that priests need hearts and souls and faith and not a....  Uhmmm.
Male genitalia.

The Vatican was struck by lightning the night the Pope announced his retirement.  Really.