Third Time Was The Charm

For the second time Obama swore his public oath.

There - before the Capitol - he, sadly, flubbed them both.

First time Justice Roberts said the Oath of Office wrong;

Got them all confused and chose to quickly move along

Swore him in again in case the first one didn't stick.

Didn't want the Birther crowd to think it was a trick.

This time, though, Obama slipped and stumbled on a word...

Messed up on "United States"; his error clearly heard.

You don't have to worry though, 'cause that was number 4.

Swore him in on Sunday, privately - just like before

And his youngest daughter said her father got it right.

Hope he doesn't trip Michelle Inauguration Night.

Lies, Lies, and More Lies.

People tell each other lies and most of us get caught.

People lying to themselves (and who of us has not?)

We can always justify our lies if given time.

Think we've got it covered until someone drops a dime.

Lance and Manti Te'o - on a very public stage 

(Everywhere I look they're splashed across someone's front page)

Victims and the perpetrators caught up in deceit.

Facts in both their cases are still somewhat incomplete.

I am torn on this 'cause Manti Te'o's just a kid.

Kids are known for doing stupid stuff...  I'm sure I did.

Armstrong? Here, I find myself reminded of Claude Rains;

Shocked that Rick's  has gambling while raking in his gains.

Maybe we should let it go.  We know that both men lied.

Held a public hanging before anyone was tried.

Both now face a future in which neither one is trusted.

Lies can turn around and bite your ass...  And then, you're busted.

License and Registration, Please.

I knew it would happen.

Eldest had an accident and mangled up my car.

No one's hurt because of it...  At least, they aren't so far.

I have not decided yet if I will kill the boy.

Doesn't seem to realize; a car is not a toy.

I know that he's sorry 'cause he tells us that a lot.

Hasn't asked to use Dad's car... He knows there's not a shot.

Now I'm stuck until my car is fixed and, even then,

I know that my son will ask to borrow it again.

That's not gonna happen for a while; he needs a break.

Won't go into details but it's not his first mistake.

He will not be happy but at least he'll be alive.

Life is so much scarier since our son learned to drive.

Dear Alex Jones, et al. - Really?

(Alex Jones)

Gun enthusiasts - afraid we'll take away their guns...

So far out of touch that their obtuseness simply stuns -

Threatened that they'd go to war in case Obama tries.

Why on earth would anyone sell weapons to these guys?

They're the kind of people who, I think, should be disarmed.

Add them to a registry before someone gets harmed.

Not that it would matter. They could purchase guns at shows.

They won't need a background check...  Thus, on and on it goes.

It's been said; "If everyone is armed we're more polite."

Look across the pond and you'll discover that's not right.

Too late now, that genie's out and it's not going back;

But, we must try something to prevent the next attack.

I don't want to take your guns, but - high round magazines?

They're the kind you often find at massive murder scenes.

Keep the bullet count to 15 lives some killer wrecks,

And we should require universal background checks.

The 113th Congress - The Party's Over

I guess it's too much to ask that Congress do its job.

They're too busy moaning that the President's a snob;

Doesn't hang around with them or have them in for drinks,

Doesn't seem to care what Mitch McConnell really  thinks.

Hey! I love a party just as much as anyone;

And I know that, sometimes, they're a way to get things done.

Sometimes, though, a Party only wastes the People's time.

Right now, the Republicans - the subject of this rhyme -

In a fit of pique have said, if they don't get their way,
They won't foot the bill for debts that we're obliged to pay.

Neither side is speaking now; they won't negotiate.

Party's almost over folks.  It's getting pretty late.

Speaking as a hostess who's had more than just a few

Parties, let me tell you what the Congress needs to do;

Put a pot of coffee on.  Sit down and share a cup.

Those folks are our drivers and it's time they sobered up.

The New England Patriots - A Prayer to the Sports Gods

I told you so. (PhotoCredit/SI)

You can call me crazy (and you wouldn't be the first)

But I've grown convinced that Rob Gronkowski has been cursed.

Why does any athlete tell Sports Illustrated  yes?

For the great majority, their season is a mess.

Gronk is now a casualty; he broke his arm again.

Next we play the Ravens and we're gonna miss him then.

Woodhead also left the game...  (Thank gods there's always Wes.)

The officials blew some calls.  Was that a fumble? Yes.

Even so, New England won and - with a little luck -

We can beat the Ravens (besides, losing now would suck.)

Sports gods, don't you think the price too high for Gronk's mistake?

You can pay us back by giving Belichick a break.

I know that Ray Lewis must be praying to you too

But, although I won't presume to tell you what to do,

I don't ask for miracles...  Just help Bill find a way

To get to the Super Bowl.  This I, most humbly, pray.

The New England Patriots - Don't Get Cocky Kids

I have got my fingers crossed; I've even crossed my toes,

Waiting to discover how the game on Sunday goes.

Pats will meet the Texans in a game we have to win;

Hope New England's ready at 4:30 to begin.

Last time that we played this team we handed them a loss;

Defense and Tom Brady showing Houston who's the boss.

This time they'll be ready for us; blitzing, on attack.

I am so relieved that Rob Gronkowski's finally back.

I won't make predictions 'cause it makes the sports gods mad;

Look at all the ups and downs the Patriots have had.

Sports gods, when they're angry, can affect the way we play

And they don't like taunting; thus, I'm watching what I say.