Putin's Jedi Mind Tricks

Putin met with reporters to answer questions about Russian involvement in Ukraine.

Putin answered questions he'd collected on a list

And, though this is not a quote, what follows is the gist:

Troops in Russian uniforms, insignias torn off?

"Those are not the droids you're looking for."  We Russians scoff.

Clearly the Americans and NATO are at fault;

Caused these wounds between our countries, now they're adding salt.

Those are not our soldiers planting mine-fields in Ukraine.

'though we should invade, we didn't... That would be insane.

Tanks throughout Crimea and in cities farther East?

Russian speakers asked for help, and so we felt the least

That a caring, parent country is obliged to do

Is protect those people from the Fascists.  Wouldn't you?

Do not fall for Jedi mind tricks; Putin's not a knight.

True, he acts mediaeval and he's daring us to fight,

But he is delusional.  I think he finds this fun,

And there's nothing chivalrous in anything he's done.

The New England Patriots - Don't Get Cocky Kids

I have got my fingers crossed; I've even crossed my toes,

Waiting to discover how the game on Sunday goes.

Pats will meet the Texans in a game we have to win;

Hope New England's ready at 4:30 to begin.

Last time that we played this team we handed them a loss;

Defense and Tom Brady showing Houston who's the boss.

This time they'll be ready for us; blitzing, on attack.

I am so relieved that Rob Gronkowski's finally back.

I won't make predictions 'cause it makes the sports gods mad;

Look at all the ups and downs the Patriots have had.

Sports gods, when they're angry, can affect the way we play

And they don't like taunting; thus, I'm watching what I say.