Looks as if the secret's out on how the Pats prepare
For opposing football teams... Our strategy's unfair:
Make the other coaches paranoid enough they'll think
There's a reason why they got warm Gatorade to drink.
Keep them busy sweeping rooms in case we've planted bugs,
Certain that, if head-sets fail, it's 'cause we've yanked the plugs,
Worried when a fan is taping their team at a game...
Belichick's the Hooded One opponents dare not name.
Critics say New England cheats; they say we break the rules,
Claiming it's the reason why we make them look like fools.
Poor New England cannot win - except for on the field -
Since the haters hide behind the NFL's own shield...
Casting slings and arrows, rumors, allegations - mud
While football's Commissioner is pulling on his pud.
Go ahead. Suspect us of a myriad of sins
But our crime is, mostly, that New England often wins.