Christmas Music in November Is Bad for Your Health

 

Recent scientific research proves that I've been right

All along when I've insisted that "Oh, Holy Night,"

"Dominic the Donkey," "Jingle Bells," and "Drummer Boy"

In November makes you sick instead of filled with joy.

Yes, I'm feeling "Bah humbug-ish."  Sure... You're all prepared;

Decorated, presents bought and wrapped while carols blared.

All this Christmas music in November makes me tense

Since I haven't done a thing...  I mean you no offense

But, I need 2 weeks (at least) before I'm in the mood.

Right now, I can understand the Grinch's attitude.

I'm glad all you Whos are happy - jingling away -

Me? I'd like some "Peace on Earth" until the holiday.

The Rus Down in Rus-ville Like Putin Alot...

(Image/smsuspur.net)

Getting close to Christmas-time and Putin's playing Grinch,

As the price of oil goes down and sanctions start to pinch;

He's cracked down internally on opposition groups.

Meanwhile, in Crimea, he's begun amassing troops.

Yet, the Rus in Russia - unlike Whoville and the Whos -

Still support their President, according to the news.

Putin's heart might be too small; his ego, though, is not...

His ambitions in the region also grew alot.

Though they face recession next year, Russians do not care.

Putin's just as popular as ever over there.

It's as if the Whos decided, late one Christmas night,

They should help to trash their town because the Grinch was right.

A Procrastinator's Christmas

Photo/Courtesy of Etsy.com

Haven't started doing cards; no presents have been bought.

Haven't decorated so my stomach's in a knot.

I know I've got things to do but they're predicting snow;

Plus, I'm sick of Christmas carols everywhere I go.

Jingle bells are ringing and those flashing lights are bright.

I'm not feeling peace on earth; I'd love a silent night.

Deck the halls and ho, ho, ho...  Dear Lord, I need a break.

Don't know how much Christmas joy my Grinchy heart can take.

How The Grinch Stole Victory

Looks like interference to me. (Photo Courtesy of Brad Barr/USA Today Sports)

Patriots are 10 and 4; New England failed to clinch.

Felt as if Gostkowski was a victim of  the Grinch.

Edelman was awesome; Amendola - not too bad...

Even though he dropped the winning catch he should have had.

Hooman was amazing; made a single-handed grab

But, without the Gronk (I'd like to clone him in a lab)

Brady doesn't have a big receiver who won't care

When there's interference that the refs perceive as fair.

Have to play the Ravens next and that'll be a chore.

Hope New England figures out a better way to score.

With so many members of our team not on the field

Our best hope might be next year; once everyone has healed.

I Miss Amazon

I got pretty snobby about gifts that people buy;

Said we planned to give the home-made present thing a try.

Harping on commercialism, seems that I forgot

Christmas is much easier if everything's been bought.

Merry Christmas darlin's; I've been working like a slave

And I'm missing days of old, when presents that we gave

Came from Toys r' Us or Amazon or, maybe Sears...

I am feeling pressure like I haven't felt in years.

Everyone but me has great ideas on what to do:

Painting, knitting, decorating - glitter and hot glue.

Only thing I've thought of is an awful lot of work.

Wish that we'd agreed on cash.  Bah humbug! I'm a jerk.

Merry Christmas?

(Photo/Turner Entertainment)

There is still a week (and some) before Thanksgiving Day...

I've just thrown my pumpkin from All Hallows Eve away;

Yet, I'm seeing Christmas decorations in the stores.

Some folks have already hung their wreaths upon their doors.

There are ads with Santa Claus; I'm hearing jingle bells.

Christmas-time too early is like 7 kinds of hells.

It's no wonder that the Grinch despised the very thought;

Advertisers make you think that happiness is bought.

Thus, they start the drumming earlier so you will shop;

Best thing about Christmas Day is that the drumbeats stop.

We're exchanging home-made gifts in my large family.

This year we'll be putting thought beneath the Christmas tree.

Dear Furloughed Federal Employees...

Now you'll have time to read.

To the newly unemployed; the clerks and astronauts,

Forest rangers, nurses who administer flu shots,

Workers at museums, people processing new claims...

Welcome to our ranks as Congress plays its stupid games.

Hope you have some savings put away and it's enough

Since the road to compromise ahead looks pretty rough.

President Obama says the ACA's the law.

Tea Party has disagreed - it's sticking in their craw -

So they've forced their Speaker, a Republican, to flinch.

Want to stop Obamacare...  They're kinda like the Grinch.

(I think that the GOP should read more Dr. Seuss...

Maybe they could learn a thing or two, but what's the use?

Cruz, who read Green Eggs and Ham, appeared to miss the point;

You should try new things before your nose gets out of joint.)

While you're out on furlough, play some golf, enjoy the day,

Or enroll for health care which has opened anyway.