Race for the White House - I Feel Sick

Cartoon by Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

I have not been feeling well; I thought it was a cold,

Plus a massive headache, but I'm no longer sold.

I've begun to think the reason I've been feeling sick?

All these nasty campaign ads I've overdosed on... ick.

Hard to be non-partisan regarding those I've seen -

Massachusetts, democratic liberal's how I lean.

Romney was my Governor; I thought I knew him well

But he's changed so often now I am confused as hell.

My poor head is splitting, spinning - feverish and chilled.

When this whole election thing is over I'll be thrilled.

It is a conundrum though for, should Mitt Romney win,

I will need Obama Care with the state I'll be in

Happy Birthday Darlin' Boy

How did that happen?

Doesn't seem that long ago my youngest joined the scene;

How then is it possible - today he turns 15?

He's the one who looks like me except he's 6 feet 2,

'though he has a baby face he wears a 13 shoe.

He and I are much alike in personality;

Any more laid back you'd need to check morbidity.

He is sweet and sensitive and caring to a fault.

When he sees kids bullying he puts it to a halt.

I pray that he'll stay that way - that life will treat him kind.

Wish that (soon) some girl will realize that he's a find.

Hope that all the things he wants good fortune sends his way

And he knows how much he's loved today and every day.

Race for the White House - Fire John Kerry.

Huh?

Maybe Mr. Romney thinks that lying's not a sin,

Or else he's concluded it's the only way he'll win.

Critics said Obama seemed lethargic and outgunned -

I thought it looked more like he was absolutely stunned.

How do you debate a man if he's prepared to lie?

Any time you make a point he'll simply just deny

That he ever said the things that you have heard him say.

Try to pin him down and watch him quickly slip away.

I don't think John Kerry is the best way to prepare.

Have to find a sales-man who will lie and doesn't care.

Hire Bernie Madoff to get ready for debates

If Obama wants to win these (dis)United States.

The Boston Red Sox - "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"

Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

In the past if someone's horse was suffering - in pain -

They would get a gun and put a bullet through its brain.

These days we use lethal drugs to put a sick horse down

Or, if you're the Red Sox, you just run him out of town.

I won't add my voice to those who'd beat a horse that's dead.

Poor, old Bobby Valentine, who's hanging by a thread,

Must already know it's time to shop his resume'.

I would bet the man is gone by 5 o'clock today.

(Later...  but not much.) 

Didn't even take 'til 5 for Valentine to go.
I'm not sad to see him leaving town, although I know
He is not the only one for Red Sox fans to blame.
Wonder which new, sacrificial lamb the team will name?

Race for the White House - The 1st Debate

I don't think Chris Christie got the memo that went out.

Didn't seem to know his job was sowing seeds of doubt;

Lower expectations for his candidate's debate.

He, instead, predicted that Mitt Romney would be great.

Every single talking head has praised the other guy -

Don't want voters setting the performance bar too high.

Christie went the other route and said the game would change;

Claimed that, Thursday morning, Romney wouldn't seem so strange.

Maybe so...  He's certainly been practicing of late;

Has some "zingers" he's been saving up for this debate.

But, in my opinion, Romney looks like he's in pain

And that grimacing he calls a smile drives me insane.

Yes, I know it's silly to let visuals decide

So I'll try to push facial expressions to the side...

Focus on his arguments and not on how he acts.

Never mind the zingers Mitt...  Let's finally hear some facts

Ugh...

NyQuil and Dr. Seussilitis don't play well together.

Sorry folks but, once again, I am not feeling well...

Oh, let's just be honest here; I really feel like hell

And, although debates are coming up, this NyQuil stuff

Makes the task of rhyming things about them much too tough.

I am crawling into bed and going back to sleep.

Sorry, but a rhyme about debates will have to keep.

Coughing Up a Lung

Sniff, cough, cough. Ugh.

Don't know what it is I've got, but I'm not feeling good.

Hopefully, not Triple E or West Nile (knock on wood).

Feels as if a nasty cold hooked up with stomach flu.

The result?  This single verse is all I've got for you.