The U.S. Open at Chambers Bay

(Artwork by LeeWybranski.com)

So far, this year's U.S. Open's not a pretty sight;

Putting surfaces look like they're suffering from blight.

Course was once a sand and gravel pit and it still shows

There, but for one Douglas fir and weeds, where nothing grows.

So, despite the lovely views they have of Puget Sound,

I hope - next year - that a better venue can be found...

One where trains don't rumble by it 60 times a day,

One where fairways aren't brown and putting greens aren't gray.

Wishing those participating all the best of luck.

May the sports gods grant that all your golf balls be well struck,

That they not find pot-hole bunkers which require stairs.

But I wouldn't count on it...  The sports gods don't do prayers.

Golf Sucks

Well done Rory McIlroy - our latest Tiger Woods

Or our newest Nicklaus - like them, he's got the goods.

Won another major yesterday - and in the dark.

Makes golf look sooo easy; like he's strolling in the park.

I went golfing yesterday and easy it was not.

Driver off the tee at 1...  A pretty decent shot.

Finished triple bogie 'cause I cannot make a putt.

Mr. S. got better as we played; he kicked my butt.

Go ask Woods or Bubba if they think the game's a snap.

Tiger didn't make the cut and Watson played like crap.

Go ask Phil or Fowler if they think that golf is fun;

Losing to this Irish kid beneath a setting sun.

Why do people play this game?  It only breaks our heart.

Why do pros not warn us of the perils at the start?

Now I have to hit the range and then the putting green

Because, yesterday - in awful golf - I was the Queen.