Dear Sports Gods; Definitely Not Gloating!

 

I am being very careful as regards my Sox

Because I am superstitious, which my husband mocks.

He does not believe in sports gods; said they're just a joke.

I bet that his Yankees wish he'd thought before he spoke.

Red Sox are so far in front of other baseball teams

They've exceeded even Fenway Faithful's wildest dreams...

But, I'm trying not to gloat before the play-offs start

Knowing that it risks the sports gods breaking Boston's heart.

Go ahead and laugh it up! Feel free to talk some trash...

Don't believe me! Then, when all your sports dreams turn to ash,

I won't say I told you so (that makes the sports gods mad)

But I will be thinking it...  And gloating, just a tad.

Deflategate - A Homer's View

I am what you'd call a "homer." I support my team

Even if they've done something that makes me wanna scream.

Therefore, I'll defend New England. I'll ignore cat-calls

From the fans of other teams about deflated balls.

Go ahead! Accuse Tom Brady...  Never mind the fact

Other quarterbacks are also guilty of the act.

In the future weigh each ball that Brady gets to throw.

Sit him on the bench a while...  We'll start Garoppolo.

Brady may have "took one" on his handsome, chiseled chin;

Bet that only motivates him, even more, to win.

Nothing that the League can do will change the bottom line;

We still have Bill Belichick.  Believe me.  We'll be fine.

The Patriots - "Say It Ain't So, Joe"

 

What's an old New England fan like me supposed to do

Learning accusations made against the Pats are true?

We used footballs that were not the legal PSI.

Hoped it was an accident but now I wanna cry.

Didn't change the outcome of the game; the best team won

But, 'though other quarterbacks admit it's often done,

This makes us look dirty...  And for what? A needless ploy.

It has made this Super Bowl much harder to enjoy.

Scandals haunt Bill Belichick; they're calling him a cheat.

(No one but a Pats fan loves a coach who won't be beat.)

Even if we crush Seattle, Belichick can't win.

He will only be remembered for another sin.

I don't think Head Coaches check the balls; it's not their job

But, because he's arrogant and rude (and he's a slob)

There are calls to fire Belichick...  That's really dumb.

Bill has won so many rings he wears them on his thumb.

I believe the Patriots will win with any ball;

It's our year and, although pride goeth before the fall,

Knowing that our reputation's underneath this cloud

Means I needn't worry that I'm gonna feel too proud.

Another Prayer for The Patriots

(Photo/Courtesy of @cdinopoulos on Twitter)

Local sports reporters say the Colts are over-matched...

I don't like when we get cocky; chickens haven't hatched.

Even if it's true it isn't nice to say out loud.

Sports gods do not like it. It's a sin and not allowed.

You will never hear New England's players talking smack.

They don't do an interview and make some stupid crack.

They heap praise on everyone that they're about to play.

Other teams don't show as much restraint in what they say.

I'll be watching Sunday night, with toes and fingers crossed,

Praying to the sports gods as the coin's being tossed

(Trying to remember that I mustn't be too snide)

Please dear sports gods; Pats were good.  Let Luck be on their side.

A Pink Hat and a Tee-Shirt Day

I'll be adding another tee-shirt to my collection.

 

6 straight years of winning their Division for the Pats;

12 of 14 years when they got new tee-shirts and hats.

Seasons of accomplishing what others only tried.

Belichick and Brady fill New Englanders with pride.

Think about the streak of wins the 2 of them are on;

Even now, with stars from older winning seasons gone,

Belichick and Brady keep on adding to their wins...

Like the one from yesterday against Miami's 'phins.

Next week, in New Jersey, they'll be taking on the Jets

Where Division rivalry's as nasty as it gets.

Belichick should focus on just getting out alive.

Keep Tom Brady playing football 'til he's 45.

A Pink-Hat Farewell to Derek Jeter

(Photo/news.yahoo.com)

It is not my fault (this year) the Red Sox haven't won;

Wasn't due to any rhymes or taunting that I've done.

I'm not sure exactly what did happen to my team,

Making our World Series win seem like a distant dream.

We will end our season here at home against New York

And, though I'm about to sound like some pink-hatted dork,

I believe it's fitting Derek Jeter's coming here;

That it will be Fenway where he's ending his career.

He will not play shortstop but he says he'll swing the bat

And I do not blame him for it; I can tell you that.

No way he could top the note he finished on last night;

Knocking in the winning run - a single out to right.

Twenty years in pinstripes - where he's done the Yankees proud -

His name being chanted by a happy, hometown crowd.

If it were a movie script it would be past believing...

Coming here to Fenway will remind him why he's leaving.

#WhyIStayed With the NFL

(Image/Courtesy of jezebel.com)

We're big fans of football here (the kind the U.S. plays)

'though it's much more difficult to be a fan these days.

All the news about the sport is not, at all, the same;

It's about the violence inherent in the game.

With the Ray Rice video (the guy who punched his wife)

There is now a spotlight on the football way of life.

What we've found ain't pretty...  Once you've cut through all the noise,

Turns out that the NFL believed boys will be boys.

Didn't care if players got in trouble off the field;

They'd let athletes play before their girlfriends' bruises healed.

Why I stayed with football?  It's because I didn't know.

Focused on the passes that my quarterback would throw.

Once, I'd be ecstatic that my team - New England - won...

But we won, in part, because a Viking beat his son.

This October let's replace pink arm bands on the sleeve

With a vow:  Abusers play? The fans get up and leave.

Pity The Clean Shaven

Women who don't follow sports might notice something weird

When the scruffy guy they've come to know shaves off his beard.

But, though he's clean shaven, you still ought to give him space.

Boston Bruins' fans are wearing their unhappy face.

It's not just your lover's face that's tender, pink, and raw;

He's still hurting from the hockey game that he just saw.

Last night was Game 7 and the Bruins won't advance.

Team did not play well - at all - and so they blew their chance.

Montreal's Canadiens, who beat us 3 to 1

(And were much more gracious after all was said and done),

Get to keep the scruffy look and play another round,

While the newly shaven had their hopes dashed to the ground.

Let's Go Canadiens?

I have got a history of sabotaging teams;

In the past my silly rhymes have ruined play-off dreams.

Thus, I hope you'll understand when I say something nice

About Montreal's Canadiens and Carey Price.

He has been on fire - stopping every puck he sees -

"Like he's on a mission," which is bad news for my Bs.

P.K. Subban (he's the guy the Bruins love to hate...

Mostly out of envy, because he's been playing great)

Scored, again, on breakaways last night on Tuukka Rask

Who, with a new baby, fell asleep behind his mask.

Series stands at 2 to 1; Game 4's on Thursday night.

If the Bruins lose that one they could still be all right

But it isn't likely.  The Canadiens are good.

Even when the games are played in Boston's neighborhood

If the Bruins cannot find the will to step it up

They are gonna miss their chance to win the Stanley Cup.

The Boston Red Sox - Fear the Beard.

Somewhere over the rainbow.  (Photo/Red Sox)

Last night, when Jon Lester got the start and took the mound,

Game 1 of the Series played on Fenway's hallowed ground,

Pitching was amazing; held the Cardinals to 1.

Red Sox hitters came alive to score us 8...  We won!

My B hat is blue and red and yet, at heart, it's pink...

And, since I am superstitious, I've begun to think

Part of why we're winning is connected to the beard.

Yes, I know that's crazy but we Boston fans are weird.

I look at the evidence; the balls that bounced away,

Watched as umps reversed a call - don't see that every day -

Saw a pitcher call a ball and then just stand and stare.

Pretty clear to me; the sports gods must like facial hair.

Cursed?

The Patriots offense was all wet yesterday. (Photo/AP)

Patriots are 4 and 1; the Sox are 2 and oh.

One team hopes to sweep their series; one team's plagued with woe.

One team is on fire while the other team is damp.

Patriots are struggling; the Sox could be the Champ.

Brady threw no touchdowns yesterday which broke his streak.

52 games in a row; at least one every week...

'though I'm sure that Danny Amendola's very nice,

There's no Joe Montana if you don't have Jerry Rice.

Red Sox are at Tropicana Field to play the Rays

But, though they're more fun to write a rhyme about these days,

I am being very careful - watching what I say -

Just in case my rhyming is affecting how they play.

When I rhymed, extensively, about the Sox last year

They performed so badly that I had begun to fear

I might be responsible - incurred the sports gods' wrath -

And there is no fury like the kind the sports gods hath.

Maybe I should stick to politics and government

'though, the more I think about it, look at how that went.

Maybe Dr. Seussilitis really is a curse...

When I write a rhyme about something it's gotten worse.

The Boston Red Sox Swept the New York Yankees

Hail to the coach. (Photo/wikipedia.com)

Red Sox teams do better with their players acting weird.

Once they used to "Cowboy Up"; today they wear a beard.

Played together as a team and "Poof!" they're number one.

They don't need a high-priced star when they're all having fun.

Yankees didn't have much fun this weekend, I'm afraid;

Swept by Boston's Red Sox in the series they just played.

Wish that I could thank the Sox and show how much I care...

Sadly, I'm a woman who can not grow facial hair.

Want to show appreciation for the year they've had.

Do not think I'm taunting.  (That will make the sports gods mad.)

I am just so happy, now that Farrell's in command,

I can't seem to help it.  Hope the sports gods understand.

Boston Red Sox - The Best Worst Team

Red Sox are 2.5 games ahead in the A.L. East. (Photo/sports.yahoo.com)

Give the team a year or two, the Red Sox owners pled.

Boston is rebuilding, all the sports announcers said.

Do not be surprised if they should finish tied for last.

No one thought John Farrell could turn things around so fast.

Now it's almost Labor Day and, in the A.L. East,

Boston's Red Sox hold the lead...  They're up 2 games (at least.)

Last night, Dirty Water filled the seats at Fenway Park.

Expectations for the team already passed the mark.

Thank Shane Victorino, thank Pedroia and Ortiz,

Not forgetting Napoli and Lackey, if you please.

And, let's thank the sports gods...  Cover all our bases, 'cause

As of now, the Red Sox are the best worst team there was.

The 1st Commandment - Thou Shalt Not Taunt

The Ancient Greeks knew about the sports gods. (Photo/FactsandDetails.com)

 

Lately, Boston sports fans are more fortunate than most.

I'd thank God and Jesus and, of course, the Holy Ghost

If I thought they'd intervened, but I don't think they did.

They've got more important things to occupy them, kid.

That is not to say I don't believe in lesser gods

(Even though that classifies me with the ditzy broads.)

Hovering above the ice; they're, mostly, near the net.

Laughing up their togas at the phrase "It's a sure bet!"

Sports gods are the reason hockey pucks bang off the post.

If a sports fan angers them, their favorite team is toast.

Sports gods don't like taunting or predictions that you'll win,

Therefore, I'm determined to avoid committing sin.

I'm allowed to say the Boston Red Sox have been great

Just as long as I don't tease my Yankees' loving mate.

Sports gods will not mind it if I wish the Bruins luck,

I'm just not supposed to say Chicago's Blackhawks suck.

 So, I'll mind my Ps and Qs in tribute to the s.

When I pray for victories I will remember "Please." 

Just in case I'm right and lesser sports gods do exist

Thank you for our blessings; far too numerous to list.

The Boston Pink Hat* Sports Report

"Do not get your hopes too high this year," sportscasters said.

But, although it's early yet, the Red Sox are ahead.

"This is a rebuilding year...  They'll finish close to last."

Maybe so but, out the gate, they're off and running fast.

Pitching's been amazing; Papi's stats are off the chart.

It's been years since Red Sox fans have seen this kind of start.

Could be, with the pressure off, the Sox are having fun

Then, before they realize it, they've gone out and won.

Celtics play the Knicks tonight; a game we have to win.

I just follow basketball once play-off games begin,

So - I'm not an expert - but I'll put my faith in Pierce

And I guarantee that competition will be fierce.

Bruins won last night; they beat the Maple Leafs by 3.

Boston's TD Banknorth Garden is the place to be.

Seems like every night a play-off game gets underway.

Where, but here, do sports fans get to see such great teams play?

*Pink hat fans are - almost always - women who are drunk.
Give a basic, baseball-knowledge quiz to them - they'd flunk.
They will pick a favorite player based on if he's cute.
Ask them if their team just won - they couldn't give a hoot.

The New England Patriots - Tom Brady is the Man

 And still he held on to the ball.

Maybe I have mentioned, once or twice, that I'm a fan

Of New England's Patriots...  Tom Brady is the man.

His contract extension pays him less than what he's worth;

All he asks is that Wes Welker's guaranteed a berth.

(Doesn't seem a lot to ask since Welker always proves

He's a star performer who has not yet lost his moves.

There are no excuses now; just give him what he asks.

Who else has been able to assume such thankless tasks?

Welker runs the kick-offs back; gets free for Brady's pass.

Last year made it very clear he isn't out of gas.)

Just like Tedy Bruschi, Brady's made it plain that he

Plans to stay and lead the Patriots to victory.

I believe that this should settle any more debate

(Not to knock the other quarterbacks considered great)

Didn't care about the money, only winning games;

Brady proves he's number one among those famous names.

The Boston Red Sox - Call Me Cassandra

This is what's left of the ancient city of Troy. (Photo/National Geographic)

Hate to play Cassandra here...  A prophetess of doom,

Faced with disbelief when warning that disasters loom.

You can call me crazy (and you wouldn't be the first)

But, I've grown convinced that Boston's Red Sox have been cursed.

Tried to warn you last year and I'm sorry I was right...

Even worse, but Jet Blue Park is still  the Yankees' site.

That's some major mojo that's been used against our Sox;

Cursed before the team has even gotten off the blocks.

Sports gods are capricious, like the Grecian gods of old.

When they turn away from you your favorite team gets cold.

Look what happened last year and then  tell me that I'm wrong.

And remember Troy; Cassandra warned them all along.

Pity the Boston Sports Fan

Boston sports fans haven't had a lot of things to cheer;

Just a week and all our hopes for glory disappear.

We are plagued with injuries and not a lot of wins...

News the Red Sox hired players for their boyish grins.

Yesterday the Celtics' fans grew worried; 'though we won.

Rondo tore his ACL - which means his season's done.

That's a major problem.  Rajon Rondo has been key

Now that it's the Heat that cheers at "Ray Allen for threeee!"

I still cannot talk about the Patriots' collapse.

It left me depressed and I'm afraid I may relapse.

21 unanswered points? Just what the heck was that?

Since when is our Offense so spectacularly flat?

Good news is that now I can enjoy the Super Bowl.

If your team is in it, watching football takes its toll.

Patriots are out of it; they've packed away their pads.

I don't care who wins the game; I'll watch it for the ads.

Pity the poor Bruins though, with such a daunting task;

All the hopes of Boston fans on them and  Tuukka Rask.

Celtics are in trouble now that Rajon Rondo's out.

Boston fans need some sports team that we can brag about.

The Boston Red Sox - Yoouuuk! Noooo!

Not Youk!  Not the Yankees! Please, gods...  Anyone but them!

Must you give the Red Sox' enemies another gem?

Wasn't Damon bad enough? And now you give them Youk?

When I heard the news he'd signed with them I thought I'd puke.

Thank you Bobby Valentine...  (I beat on him a lot

And, I guess it's true I never gave the man a shot.

After Kevin Youkilis left - 'cause Bobby said he should -

I felt, right away, the Red Sox' future wasn't good.)

Youk could sign with any team.  Why must it be New York?

Yes, I know I'm sounding like some kind of "pink hat" dork,

But it really breaks my heart when former Red Sox go;

Put on Yankee pinstripes for a huge amount of dough.

The Boston Red Sox - "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"

Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

In the past if someone's horse was suffering - in pain -

They would get a gun and put a bullet through its brain.

These days we use lethal drugs to put a sick horse down

Or, if you're the Red Sox, you just run him out of town.

I won't add my voice to those who'd beat a horse that's dead.

Poor, old Bobby Valentine, who's hanging by a thread,

Must already know it's time to shop his resume'.

I would bet the man is gone by 5 o'clock today.

(Later...  but not much.) 

Didn't even take 'til 5 for Valentine to go.
I'm not sad to see him leaving town, although I know
He is not the only one for Red Sox fans to blame.
Wonder which new, sacrificial lamb the team will name?