The New England Patriots - Fire Sale!

 

I wish I knew what's been happening inside Gillette:

We don't know the story behind Malcolm Butler yet,

Or if there's a power struggle really going on,

Or if Rob Gronkowski has decided that he's gone.

Amendola, Lewis, Butler, and Nate Solder are;

Jimmy G's in San Fransisco and a rising star.

(I have never liked the fact New England always cuts

Players who deserve a raise for working off their butts.)

I'm aware that there are caps on salaries, but still

If we do not pay them what they're worth, then others will.

This feels like a fire sale where everything must go...

I'll admit that I'm concerned. I haven't panicked though.

This is not the first time and I'm sure it's not the last;

We have gotten through upheavals like this in the past.

With Tom Brady at the helm we'll - once again -adjust.

Just keep on repeating to yourself; "In Bill we trust."

Another Prayer to the Sports Gods

I still can't believe New England traded Jimmy G.

What will happen if there's - gods forbid! - an injury

To the GOAT, Tom Brady, and it's worse than just a bruise?

I can tell you what will happen then... We're gonna lose.

I'm aware Garoppolo would like a chance to play

As the starting quarterback before he's old and gray.

At the rate that Brady's going, that won't happen here...

Still, I wish the Patriots had waited 'til next year.

I know Belichick's a genius...  Yes, in Bill I trust.

But, it's still a lot to ask some new guy to adjust

To the Pats, where he'd require more than just an arm...

Please dear sports gods, hear my prayer and shelter Tom from harm.

(Not that I am not already praying for the team

But the sports gods haven't listened to me, it would seem,

With so many crucial players on the injured list.)

Still... Good luck Garoppolo! I hope you won't be missed.

Noooo! Not Edelman.

I have got this thing for slot-receivers; guys like Jules.

Edelman, who's one of Brady's most essential tools,

Tore his ACL in Friday night's pre-season game.

Out before I even wore my jersey with his name.

It is a replacement for the one I have for Wes.

Welker left because he pissed off Belichick, I guess.

Up until I got their jerseys, both those men were fine.

Maybe I should not buy jerseys? Could this be a sign?

Even without Edelman, New England's looking good.

If nobody else gets injured I believe we should

Make it to another Super Bowl...  But this I swear;

I'll be much more careful of whose jersey that I wear.

Happy 40th Birthday to the GOAT

 

40 years ago today the Brady's had a son.

At the time I'm sure they didn't know he was the one

Whom the sports gods favored over any other child...

On the day that Tom was born those gods looked down and smiled.

Tom's a gift the sports gods gave to all New England fans;

One that keeps on giving since, apparently, he plans

To go win another ring.  (He'll need a second hand...

Victory parade route is already being planned.)

On this anniversary of that auspicious day,

On behalf of sports fans everywhere, I'd like to say;

Thank you to the sports gods and to Brady's dad and mom.

Thank you to his teams and coaches...  Happy Birthday Tom!

Haters Gonna Hate

There is great rejoicing here in each New England town;

Breathing's almost back to normal, heart rate's slowing down.

Soon the rally will be rolling through the Boston streets

Filled with fans who do not care if you think our team cheats.

We get why the fans of other teams must hate our Pats,

Celebrating (yet again) in new tee-shirts and hats.

If we knew there's nothing that our team will ever do

That could match the Patriots, I guess we'd hate them, too.

Sports gods' First Commandment is that fans ought not to gloat

But that rule's suspended when your quarterback's the GOAT.

And real fans of football, even those who curse our name,

Must admit the Patriots delivered quite a game...

Possibly the most amazing game I've ever seen

Since I started watching back at Super Bowl XIX.

We love Belichick and Brady - not for politics -

But because we want Lombardi trophy number 6.

Not Taunting... Gloating

(Courtesy of Only In Boston)

P-A-T-S... Pats, Pats, Pats just won against the Jets;

Game was very close (New England didn't cover bets.)

But, despite a fifth of all his passes being dropped,

Brady's proved he's on a mission and will not be stopped.

I won't use the "U" word that's been bandied here-abouts,

I know - in regards to sports gods - people have their doubts

But I, still, remain convinced the sports gods DO exist

And that cockiness is on their Thou Shalt Not Do list.

I'll just count my blessings, with Tom Brady being first.

Thank them for Bill Belichick and pray I haven't cursed

Us before the Dolphins game we're playing Thursday night...

Careful not to boast or make predictions as I write.

Go ahead and call me superstitious if you want

But prior experience has taught me not to taunt.

Still, the sports gods can't begrudge Pats' fans the right to gloat;

Even they must recognize Tom Brady is the GOAT.

The New England Patriots... Whatever.

Looks as if the secret's out on how the Pats prepare

For opposing football teams... Our strategy's unfair:

Make the other coaches paranoid enough they'll think

There's a reason why they got warm Gatorade to drink.

Keep them busy sweeping rooms in case we've planted bugs,

Certain that, if head-sets fail, it's 'cause we've yanked the plugs,

Worried when a fan is taping their team at a game...

Belichick's the Hooded One opponents dare not name.

Critics say New England cheats; they say we break the rules,

Claiming it's the reason why we make them look like fools.

Poor New England cannot win - except for on the field -

Since the haters hide behind the NFL's own shield...

Casting slings and arrows, rumors, allegations - mud

While football's Commissioner is pulling on his pud.

Go ahead.  Suspect us of a myriad of sins

But our crime is, mostly, that New England often wins. 

Deflategate - A Homer's View

I am what you'd call a "homer." I support my team

Even if they've done something that makes me wanna scream.

Therefore, I'll defend New England. I'll ignore cat-calls

From the fans of other teams about deflated balls.

Go ahead! Accuse Tom Brady...  Never mind the fact

Other quarterbacks are also guilty of the act.

In the future weigh each ball that Brady gets to throw.

Sit him on the bench a while...  We'll start Garoppolo.

Brady may have "took one" on his handsome, chiseled chin;

Bet that only motivates him, even more, to win.

Nothing that the League can do will change the bottom line;

We still have Bill Belichick.  Believe me.  We'll be fine.

Hold The Duck Boats

So glad the parade's postponed or I'd be out of luck.

I can't even make it up my driveway yet; I'm stuck.

Hoped to use commuter rail for getting into town

But the snow has caused delays and shut the Red Line down.

Even if I made it up my drive before it's dark,

I can't take my car to Boston.  There's no place to park.

Hopefully tomorrow morning's trains are not delayed

And I'll make it into town in time for the parade.

If I cannot make it though, I want the Pats to know

Don't be fooled tomorrow if the turnout's slightly low.

It won't be because New England fans don't love our team;

Likes of which all other NFL fans only dream.

Thank you Malcolm Butler; thanks Tom Brady...  Mr. Kraft.

Thank you Coach Bill Belichick - a master of his craft.

Please believe there's millions who would like to offer thanks

You just might not see us all behind these huge snowbanks.

Congratulations to My World Champion New England Patriots

(Not mad anymore Bro.)

"Cue the duck boats" and confetti; then strike up the band.

Patriots have just been crowned the best team in the land.

Seahawks made it much too close...  They had it on the 1

But, for reasons unbeknownst to me, they didn't run.

When Seattle's Russell Wilson tried to throw a pass

Butler's goal line interception saved New England's ass.

Vindication for the weeks of listening to crap

Came when Brady took a knee after the final snap.

Ten years since their last parade but this makes number 4

Belichick and Brady won (in case you're keeping score.)

There is joy throughout New England, but there's also snow.

Hope the plows can do their job 'cause we intend to go.

Embrace The Hate

 


Hard to love a sports team every other city fears...

Now I know how Yankees fans have felt for all those years.

I've cheered for New England since the Grogan Super Bowl;

Now the country hates my Pats, according to a poll.

64% of them believe the NFL

Ought to ban the Patriots from Glendale...   What the hell?

Let's all take a breath here and, as Rodgers said, "Relax."

Even if we're guilty, it's a misdemeanor... Max!

Belichick and Brady said that they were unaware

Footballs used to beat the Colts were down 2 pounds of air.

Brady threw the balls they gave him and, once they were switched,

Pats scored 28 more points...  Still, Chuck Pagano bitched.

Mr. S., my Yankees' fan, reminds me - there are perks.

Who cares if the country thinks my Patriots are jerks?

I can learn to live with that and just embrace the hate;

Knowing it's the price you pay for dynasties this great.

The Patriots - "Say It Ain't So, Joe"

 

What's an old New England fan like me supposed to do

Learning accusations made against the Pats are true?

We used footballs that were not the legal PSI.

Hoped it was an accident but now I wanna cry.

Didn't change the outcome of the game; the best team won

But, 'though other quarterbacks admit it's often done,

This makes us look dirty...  And for what? A needless ploy.

It has made this Super Bowl much harder to enjoy.

Scandals haunt Bill Belichick; they're calling him a cheat.

(No one but a Pats fan loves a coach who won't be beat.)

Even if we crush Seattle, Belichick can't win.

He will only be remembered for another sin.

I don't think Head Coaches check the balls; it's not their job

But, because he's arrogant and rude (and he's a slob)

There are calls to fire Belichick...  That's really dumb.

Bill has won so many rings he wears them on his thumb.

I believe the Patriots will win with any ball;

It's our year and, although pride goeth before the fall,

Knowing that our reputation's underneath this cloud

Means I needn't worry that I'm gonna feel too proud.

The Patriots - Once More Unto The Breach

 Here we go again, I guess... The haters gonna hate;

Jealous that their football teams will never be as great.

"Pats win 'cause they're cheaters"? Thought we'd put that one to rest;

Thought we'd proved Bill Belichick and Brady are the best.

"Not so fast," the haters say.  For now we stand accused;

Claim was made that we deflated balls that Brady used.

So, although we crushed the Colts to win the AFC,

This might further tarnish the New England legacy.

NFL has got investigations underway

While the Patriots, who've got a Super Bowl to play

(This one makes it number 8) continue to ignore

All the haters - who can't stand the thought we might win 4.

Confessions of a Frazzled and Superstitious Patriots Fan

Only now - on Monday morning - have I caught my breath;

Saturday the Patriots had me half scared to death.

Twice they trailed by 14 points and twice they battled back.

Once or twice I may have let my calm composure crack.

Maybe more than once or twice... I have been known to yell

When it looks as if the football game has gone to hell.

I don't worry that we'll lose, despite the uphill slope;

Belichick and Brady mean that there is always hope.

Don't know why I lose my mind; I know it's just a game

And I know it's impolite to call the ref a name.

Wish I had more self-restraint but, sadly, I do not.

Don't know how much more that I can take.  My nerves are shot.

(Hope this rhyme is not perceived by sports gods as a sin;

That they know I really do appreciate the win.

I don't want to make them angry; that would really suck

Next week when New England plays a quarterback named Luck.)

A Pink Hat and a Tee-Shirt Day

I'll be adding another tee-shirt to my collection.

 

6 straight years of winning their Division for the Pats;

12 of 14 years when they got new tee-shirts and hats.

Seasons of accomplishing what others only tried.

Belichick and Brady fill New Englanders with pride.

Think about the streak of wins the 2 of them are on;

Even now, with stars from older winning seasons gone,

Belichick and Brady keep on adding to their wins...

Like the one from yesterday against Miami's 'phins.

Next week, in New Jersey, they'll be taking on the Jets

Where Division rivalry's as nasty as it gets.

Belichick should focus on just getting out alive.

Keep Tom Brady playing football 'til he's 45.

On To San Diego

New England Patriots' fans should take Aaron's advice. (Courtesy/memeinternet.blogspot.com)

There, on Lambeau's frozen field, with just a play or two,

Went New England's winning streak; an outcome Pats' fans knew

Was a possibility we faced when going in...

And, may I congratulate the Packers on their win.

I predict we'll see Green Bay again before we're through

 I have hopes there'll be a different outcome when we do.

Pats are on to San Diego - playing Sunday night.

I don't think we're gonna lose that game, although we might.

I still like New England's chance of going all the way

(Even if we never see another run from Gray)

I believe we'll reach our goal; the Super Bowl or bust.

In Bill Belichick and Brady I've put all my trust.

(Courtesy of/vincentorleck.wordpress.com)

Patriots 43 - Bengals 17; Any Questions?

Last night in New England, 'neath a perfect Autumn moon,

Rumors of the Patriots' demise appeared too soon.

Era isn't over yet...  In Belichick we trust;

Confident the Hall of Fame will, one day, house his bust.

Patriots were pilloried in media and blogs,

Coming in to Sunday's game at home as 1 point dogs.

After this past week they've had of listening to crap

The New England Patriots were just about to snap.

You could not have paid me to be in the Bengals' shoes;

There was not a chance in hell the Patriots would lose.

Any stupid questions now about Garoppolo?

Just don't ask Bill Belichick...  He's on to Buffalo.

The Patriots Are 2-2 and I Don't Feel So Good

 Tom doesn't look too good, either. (Photo/The Boston Globe)

We New England fans have gotten up and out of bed

In the grip of unfamiliar feelings - mainly dread -

That and deep depression, disbelief, and gnawing doubt

Because Kansas City beat New England in a rout.

There was nothing good about the Patriots last night

And the fans, who've grown up unaccustomed to the sight,

Couldn't understand what they were seeing on the field.

Now our heads are pounding and our stomachs have congealed.

This could be a long and painful season for the team

And for Mr. S. - who has to listen to me scream;

Mad because they're not protecting Brady - who looked old.

Throat is sore.  I'm feverish...  Perhaps it's just a cold?

New England Patriots, 0-1?

All through Spring and Summer I've been waiting for the day

Football season started... I could watch New England play.

Yesterday it happened; 'twas their first game of the year.

By the end, the reasons I'd missed football weren't clear.

'though at first it seemed that we had dominating stats -

23 unanswered points...?  The Dolphins beat my Pats.

Our Offensive line had gaping holes they couldn't shut;

Brady spent the second half of football on his butt.

Defense did no better for they couldn't stop the run.

Patriots looked awful 'neath that hot Miami sun.

(Hopefully, it's not a sign we've made the sports gods mad.)

Belichick's got work to do, 'cause yesterday was bad.

A Harsh Master of the Game

Don't know why New England fans are mad at Brandon Spikes.

I would guess that anyone Bill Belichick dislikes

Wouldn't find it easy to be playing football here.

Brandon made a joke on Twitter now he's naught to fear.

"4 years as a slave," he tweeted, yesterday, with glee.

Brandon left us for the Bills.  He says he's finally free.

Patriots don't like it when their players take a poke.

(Belichick benched Welker for his Ryan fetish joke.)

Bill is not all "warm and friendly..."  Not a "people guy."

But that isn't why New England loves him.  I won't lie;

He would scare me half to death and part way to the grave.

Still, I wouldn't call 3 million bucks a year a slave.